I’ll be honest, I’ve had fun over the last 54 weeks. I’m taking a short break and possibly returning with a new format and/or medium, but a lot has changed in the last year. I’d like to close this short chapter with my 2nd Thoughts on each of the topics I covered this past year, given what we all know now. I figure no one actually works during the week between Christmas and New Year’s, so here’s my gift to you if you need to kill some time. Enjoy, thank you for reading over the past year, and I’ll be back soon.
Vol 1- It’s Britney, Bitch
Unfortunately, Miley Cyrus is heading right down the Britney path. Their careers aren’t that far off…mega stars at 16, protected/abused by their fathers, underage sex symbols, terrible singers, desire for independence and acceptance…it’s like Miley’s diving head-first into a the shallow end even though she just saw Britney break her neck.
Vol 2- Mating Like Rabbits
The Duggars announced in September that Michelle is having #20. This disgusts me. I’m just surprised Jim Bob wanted to get back in the sack with her.
Vol 3- HS Reunion
I have an idea of who will plan my high school reunion, and if I’m invited, I’d like to go. My sister’s reunion (same high school) was at a local bar with a reputation of allowing underage patrons, though, so it might be pretty jammed up. I assume everyone gravitates toward the people they hung out with in high school, and everyone keeps in touch via Facebook anyway, thus negating the purpose of a reunion…but what the hey.
Vol 4- What Not to Wear
I know I’m going to horrible when it comes to my children’s clothing choices. I realize I will be the stereotypical dad that imposes strict regulation on hair length, hair cuts, tattoos, piercings, etc…and that’s okay with me. I’d rather have a well-dressed child than an ass-hat wearing skinny jeans and a mullet.
Vol 5- Bad Friends
FYI, this was not about any of my friends. I’ve seen enough people burned by crappy friends, though, enough so to make this commentary. I just hate when people break plans…drives me insane.
Vol 6- Obama Nation
The love affair with the Prez is disgusting. For a guy that’s bankrupting our country for the next 1,000 years, he certainly gets a lot of love. He’s essentially a crook with a silver tongue. But because US citizens are primarily uneducated and unaware, we sit idly by while Obama brings down the ship. Then again, his approval rating continues to drop so perhaps the country is getting smarter?
Vol 7- OMG, Facebook Me!
I’ve heard of quite a bit of people who have deleted their Facebook accounts for exactly this reason—they didn’t want information or pictures posted in the public domain that would hurt their employment prospective. I don’t blame them, and I wish more people were as responsible or even cared as much.
Vol 8- Mount Rapmore
It’s reeeeeeally hard to leave Biggie out of this, but I’m standing by my decision to leave him out for the reasons given. For me, Life After Death was a largely overlooked album outside of the songs that hit the radio and MTV. Listen to “You’re Nobody Til Somebody Kills You”…wow. He just kills songs. Conversely, did I really consider Dame Dash for a bust? The guy is a broke distant memory…it’s sad, actually.
Vol 9- Growing Pains
Michael Phelps seems to have matured and mellowed out a bit since his post-Olympics indulgence. I probably should have cut the guy some slack—he just came off years of diligent training and achieved more than he probably imagined. Can’t fault the guy for wanting to tear through some gazelles.
Vol 10- Taking the First
OK, first I would like to just say: I was wrong. I made these statements about Joe Torre before I read his book, which turned out to be a great book. He didn’t rat out anyone or really blow up anyone’s spot. This is my fault—I read too much of the New York Post.
As for the other part of my commentary, freedom of speech seems like such an easy issue on the surface when in reality it’s quite intricate and socially sensitive. I’m going to go out on a limb and blame liberals for the abuse of the First Amendment since they abuse it when it’s convenient and then cry slander when someone presents a disagreeing opinion. A liberal’s formula for success is to align with any minority and catch anyone that makes a comment resembling offensive content. If a tribe of six-inch warrior man-apes were being discriminated against, Al Sharpton would be first on the scene.
Vol 11- The Curious Case of David M.
Probably my favorite entry of the year and I still can’t believe I actually lived through that. To finish the story, Dave ended up transferring to another school to practice music and a friend of mine said he saw Dave working the register at Virgin Records. Handling money. The dirtiest thing you can put your hands on. I guess he got over the phobia?
Vol 12- Fierce Against Cancer
Cancer continues to claim family members and close friends every year, and it’s shitty every time. I’ll be participating in the Relay for Life again this coming year under the team name “Beat Cancer,” sporting my Boston College Beat Cancer shirt distributed in honor of BC linebacker Mark Herzlich last season.
Vol 13- Tuesdays With Simon
I’ve waited long enough and I’ve given up trying to find a clever way to attack him, so I’m taking this opportunity to blast Adam Lambert. Ok, so I was wrong again: Obama is not the antichrist, Adam Lambert is. I’m pretty sure that hell exists, and I’m fairly certain that Lambert’s performance at the American Music Awards was a preview. He’s a terrible singer, too. There is nothing redeemable about Adam Lambert. I hope anyone that enjoys him is ashamed of him/herself. If I was in a room armed with a gun, 2 bullets, and sat alongside Adam Lambert and Hitler, I would shoot Lambert twice.
I would also like to say that this upcoming season is the beginning of the end for American Idol. Once you start messing with the formula too much, you lose the essence of the show. Ellen will turn out to be not such a wise decision. (I would also like to note that I wrote this follow-up part in the summer of 2009 when the show announced Ellen’s addition. With the recent rumors of Simon’s departure, looks like I was even more right on this one.)
Vol 14- My St Patty’s Day Limerick
A quick stanza for you…
Irish footballers are sure feeling hurt
Once again the saddest fans on the eart’
Lost though they didn’t give up
And jobbed in the World Cup
When Henry sold his soul to Adam Lambert
Vol 15- Seeking Amy
Sex sells, what else can you say?
Vol 16- Sing It Loud, Sing It Proud
I think the basis of this is culture—and Americans don’t have it. Yankees-Red Sox is intense, but it’s hatred between two organizations. Europeans have so much national pride, and even local pride, that it makes their chants much more genuine. They care about their country and town, and when their team loses, it’s a personal insult to both. Since America is full of mutts, we’ll never have this. The World Cup fever will hit the States in the summer of 2010, yet again, and yet again people will think soccer will catch on. It won’t, though, for the same reason hockey and baseball are fading—not enough scoring.
Vol 17- The Easiest Way
I’ve already been asked to download David Archuleta’s and Mandisa’s Christmas albums. So what do American Idol artists do when they can’t sell records? Make Christmas albums! Gets ‘em every time.
Vol 18- The Fuss About Stereotypes
Note the instances at Fort Hood, Detroit, and Denver in the last 4 months. What do all the alleged terrorist suspects have in common? And this is the same thing in common with the alleged 9/11 terrorists, right? I think a little profiling is in line here. On a lighter note, I love stereotypes and cultural insensitivity. They make me laugh, mostly because I don’t take anyone prolific in either very seriously. I laugh when I think about someone getting off a plane in China and yelling “Konichiwa!”
Vol 19- The Difference Between Right and Left
See commentary on Vol 10 and the liberal strategy. Thankfully, the Left got full control of the executive and legislative branch in one of our country’s most critical periods…and both branches are falling flat on their faces. So good luck with that shit.
Vol 20- A Few Of My Favorite Things
A few more to add to the list…all HBO programming (Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiasm, 24/7, Bored to Death), Tim Tebow, White Russians, Le Coq Sportif sneakers, and Kid Cudi.
Vol 21- Tweeting
Twitter was all the rage for a while, but I think it’s slowed down. It’s no longer cool to be on Twitter, since everyone is (except me and I’ve still never been on the site). Facebook is essentially Twitter now, anyway. Which reminds me—why is it that every time I go on Facebook I see the same 10 people’s status updates? And they’re not even people I like. How did I get here? Dammit.
Vol 22- Dog’s Worst Friend
Michael Vick won’t be back in Philly, and if the Eagles bring him back then Isaiah Thomas must be running the team. The PETA backlash hasn’t been as loud as I would have thought, but Vick hasn’t really done anything either. He’ll go to another team and turn their Sundays into a circus, no question.
Vol 23- An Unpleasant Relapse
Despite being one of the worst albums of the year, and despite my knocking of his drug-induced, completely untrue stories, the second verse on “3AM” is one of my top 5 verses of the year. If you just think of the album as a horror movie instead of taking it on face value, you may start to appreciate it a little more.
Vol 24- The Yankee Way
Well, well, well. Looks like the Yankees brass have a clue, after all. Management may be incompetent and scouting might be lacking, but the free agent method of acquiring players actually panned out this year. I am against a salary cap in baseball though, and I don’t even think baseball needs it. This is a conversation for another time, but Darwinism has kicked-in in baseball and replaced the need for a salary cap. Baseball execs got smarter as the Yanks got dumber and richer and thus evened the playing field. And as the Yanks start to discover this elusive concept of OBP 10 years behind the curve, everyone else continues to outsmart them. So for now, I think the state of the game financially is fine.
Vol 25- The Last Great Generation?
Although a proper perspective can’t be gained until much further in the future, it will be interesting to see how we place the Iraqi and Afghan wars in history. Moreover, how will the vets of these wars be treated, and will they be taken care of in their later years? I don’t know if anyone really knows the answer to these questions, but it will be interesting. Sad, but interesting.
Vol 26- Organizational Misbehavior
Got the update from Al since he still knows some of the players for the Maitland Vulture Claws. It hasn’t gotten any better for the players and Al said that more players are about to be cut. No one has heard of any coaches or management being cut still, so the death spiral looks to continue for the foreseeable future. Memo to anyone that still plays there—get out while you can.
Vol 27- Fashion Disasters ‘09
Well, I said early 90’s fashion was going to come back in, although I underestimated the speed at which it would do so. Have you noticed flannel is back in? And when was flannel big? Early 90’s. Maybe I do know what I’m talking about…?
Vol 28- Billy Mays Here!
I understand why Billy’s ads would be pulled, but as a Billy Mays fan, I am all for keeping his commercials on the air. Perhaps it’s tacky or inappropriate to use someone who is deceased for your own profit’s sake, but couldn’t a deal be cut so Billy’s family still gets his share? If he was the best at what he did…and everyone loved him…why take him away from everyone so soon? I’d still buy things that he sold, so what’s the problem?
Vol 29- Diddy Boppin
Hopefully everyone took this a bit tongue in cheek. Diddy is ridiculous, and everyone knows this. Never has someone so mediocre at EVERYTHING earned so much money. But hey, if he’s making money, I guess we can’t really hate on him.
Vol 30- Beyond a Probable Doubt
So Foxy Knoxy is going away for 20 years, and OJ is not guilty? Right.
Vol 31- The Realest
If we role-reverse and take a look at the most NON-realistic depictions, I’ll go with anything by 50 Cent after 2003, 24 for TV (though I still love it), and any one of the Twilight movies. Vampires? Come on.
Vol 32- Science vs. Savage
Lord willing, Floyd Mayweather Jr will fight Manny Pacquiao in the spring of 2010. This will be the highest grossing fight in the history of pay-per-view, and nothing MMA can put forth will ever achieve those numbers. Enough said.
Vol 33- Writers Block
No comment. I was a bit loopy.
Vol 34- Piano Man
I still believe that for the reasons I mentioned, "Piano Man" is the greatest song ever. However, my #2 song goes against every criterion I laid out. For the opposite reason of everything I wrote about, Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” is my runner-up for greatest song. I don’t have any rhyme or reason here, since it’s not relatable nor is it timeless. It’s actually quite dated, and has no practical application. It’s for entertainment purposes only (unless it’s a metaphor for something that I’m missing). But tell me you don’t get fired up when you hear that first part come in…DA DAAAA! DA DA DAAA!
Vol 35- Problems at the Top
It’s not the NFL’s fault, but Chris Henry’s accidental death does not look great for the league. He had a history of problems, despite friends saying he’d turned a corner. There are too many bad apples in the NFL and the commish doesn’t do enough about it. As far as baseball goes, if it’s revealed that Derek Jeter took steroids, the league might as well fold.
Vol 36- Healthscare
Looks like Barry is going to win this one, even though the bills have no merit. No one from across the aisle supports either the House or Senate bill, so it’s being passed strictly on party bias. Since Obama was raised by a single mother in a not-so-affluent area, he’s used to the government providing for every person’s needs (borrowing this theory from an unnamed relative). That’s his view of government. Unfortunately, American’s culturally do NOT like big government. We are largely anti-authority. I’ve spoken to people in Canada and I’ve spoken to people in Norway. These countries have government funded schools and healthcare, but the highest tax rates are anywhere from 50 to 65%!! You realize that’s how these things work, right? You can’t have free shit and nobody to pay for it. Taxes will have to increase, and they’ll increase the most on the upper class. 2 things will happen as a result of this, not necessarily in this order: 1) The wealthy will move their money out of the country and 2) CEO’s will institute higher salaries. If the wealthy are being taxed more, they’ll want to EARN more to counteract the additional tax. And people will continue to freak out that upper management makes so much money. Well it all has to start somewhere, and I’m looking right at the Prez for this one.
Vol 37- Blueprint 3
As I’ve noted—album reviews after 2-3 listens always prove to be premature. This was a good example. The best song on this album is “Already Home,” produced by Kanye West and featuring Kid Cudi. This is actually the best song by any artist in 2009. The second best song on the album is “Empire State of Mind,” featuring Alicia Keys, which turned out to be the 2009 World Series Champion New York Yankees’ theme song. Several months removed from my first listen, I’d probably put this above American Gangster but below Blueprint and Reasonable Doubt.
Vol 38- Business S&M
I haven’t seen as much of Bob and Grace Dance in the past 2 weeks, which means: 1) they’re out of money, 2) they’ve decided people are getting irritated with their CONSTANT advertising, or 3) I haven’t been watching enough television. Definitely #3.
Vol 39- Ultimate Guy Movie
Huge mistake by me leaving Swingers out of this. Complete oversight and I’m embarrassed that I did so. I don’t want to get overhyped, but The Hangover will one day be considered one of the funniest movies ever made. I cringe at the thought of a sequel though…can really only make things worse.
Vol 40- To A People So Helpless
My prediction: Sarah Palin will eventually run as an independent, and she will…gulp…win? Nah. Well, who knows. But an independent will win the presidency in the next 24 years.
Vol 41- A Draft of a Different Color
So I’m rethinking Jamarcus Russell going so high. How does a guy like that suck so bad at what he does?
Vol 42- Mythbusting
I had no idea about the MTV show Jersey Shore when I wrote this, but I still have not watched it to this day. No reason in particular, just haven’t gotten around to it. But I think everyone now knows what a BENNY is if he or she did not know before.
Vol 43- Relationships 102
To any guy in this situation and over the age of 25…LOCK IT UP. It’s not getting any better for you.
Vol 44- Global Lessons
Everyone should go to Ireland at some point. And don’t bother going to China. There’s really nothing there…really…I swear…(see 2nd Thoughts on Vol 47)
Vol 45- What Happened to 50 Cent?
He started sucking, that’s what.
Vol 46- NastraDENmus
Predicting Manny Pacquiao would lose to Miguel Cotto was the Mega Jinx. There was no way Manny was losing that fight but I had to do everything in my power to make sure that he didn’t. The Jets are one game away from missing the playoffs, as predicted, and the Colts are still in line to win the Super Bowl. Taylor Swift has gotten even bigger, and is dominating every award category in which she’s eligible. And just remember, next Black Friday turns it all around. You heard it here first.
Vol 47- Culture Shock
Why do I have to watch Andrea Kramer on Meet the Press make error after error and present misconception after misconception about China? Well, mostly because she’s a certified dink. In a recent NBC poll, 37% of Americans think that China will be the world’s most powerful country by 2020, whereas 36% think the US will. And Obama’s been to China once, and he made sure to talk down to everyone. Real nice job, buddy. Konichiwa!
Vol 48- Hearting Palin
She’s going rogue! I like how she’s been handling herself lately—really playing it cool. Anyone who insults her now actually looks kind of stupid (see Martha Stewart). Watch out for her meteoric rise…
Vol 49- What If?
No one plays the Butterfly Effect game better than Malcolm Gladwell. He uses it in a way that’s not ridiculous, either, but instead as a perfect way of establishing a background story. If you read 1 book in 2010, read one of his 4 (The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, and What The Dog Saw). Or at least visit www.gladwell.com to read some of his old columns from The New Yorker. My favorite is one called “Coolhunters.”
Vol 50- An Era of Sports Greatness
I’m sure that sports fans in the WWII era and in the 1970’s thought they were witnessing the greatest athletes ever, so it’s no wonder I can make the claim that the greatest play in the era in which I’ve lived. Is it even plausible to think that there will be a hoopster better than MJ, a hockey player greater than Gretz, or a golfer better than Tiger, though? Kobe, Lebron, and Sidney Crosby will test MJ and Wayne, but I don’t think any realistic fans will move any of the former ahead of any of the latter. Tiger is just in a different league, the likes of which we’ve never seen. All his shenanigans aside, he is a marvel to watch…which is why I root for him. I like watching greatness…it pleases me.
Vol 51- 808’s & Chronic
808’s & Heartbreak was the best album of 2008, but it falls to the lower half when I rank my top ten albums of the decade. It was extremely influential and gutsy, and sounds different than almost anything else you’ve heard. The lyrics kill me though. A friend of mine (and staunch Kanye advocate) argues that the simplicity of the lyrics are a perfect complement to the intricacy of the beats, but I’m not buying it. It also seems that Kanye tried so hard to make this more of an art piece than a musical album, but he overlooked some things. He could have blended more beats together so they flowed directly into each other, cut out some of the adlibs, and left off the atrocity otherwise known as Pinocchio Story. On a still-evolving list, I have it in the #6-9 range on the albums of the decade, though.
Vol 52- Letters To Santa
Dear Santa,
Free time. Give me that and a quarter and I’ll have 25 cents.
Aight Chill,
Denis
Letters To Santa
Let's be honest, we'd all love to take a peek at each other's Christmas lists to find out what we all really want. Fortunately for me, I was able to hijack a mail truck and discover a bunch of letters to Santa. Some I found amusing, others surprising, and yet some very expected. Here are a few of my favorites.
Dear Santa,
Now that I'm single, can you hook me up with Alex Rodriguez's phone number?
Thanks,
Tiger Woods
Dear Santa,
Now that I'm single, can you hook me up with Alex Rodriguez's phone number?
Thanks,
Elin Nordegren
Hi Santa!!
Ugh...can you please ruin that skinny bitch Taylor Swift's career? Have one of your elves make up a sex tape with her and Pikachu or something. Btw, have you seen my new tattoo? Yeah you have! And oh yeah, keep that whole me-and-Billy Ray thing quiet...I was hoping Mackenzie Phillips got a better reaction so I could admit it too.
Love Ya!
Miley
Santa,
Can you please tell the same 5 people to stop updating their Facebook status? They take up my entire News Feed every day.
Sincerely,
The Other 99.99% of Facebook Users
Dear Santa,
You and me are pretty close. We're like ebony and ivory. Do me a favor here. My mom has been tearing up the house every Saturday in the fall for the last 10 years, and she doesn't even want to be called "their mother" anymore. I mean, I'd be pretty pissed if the Pittsburgh Pirates called themselves the Pittsburgh Jesuses. So can you please throw us a bone and give Notre Dame football a winning season next year? For crying out loud, this is ridiculous.
Dad bless,
JC
Yo Santa,
I know you're in the Christmas spirit and all, and I'm not one to break up a happy home, but man you should know that your woman just hit me up. Mrs. Claus just texted me, said she wanted to "sex me. LOL :) LOL :)". Then she sent a Twit-pic, saying "Come and get this, LOL :) LOL :)"
Be easy,
Trey Songz
Hey Santa,
Getcha fat ass over here and give me a hot dog, a 20 oz t-bone steak, 3 Big n' Tasties, fries from Johnny Rockets, and a Chick Fil-A milkshake, all on top of a naked woman lathered in Ranch dressing.
Yeah,
Rosie O'Donnell
Dear Santa,
If you've received this, there is hope yet. I am chained to a pipe in the crawl space in my DC apartment and I need you to bust me out. My wife won't be expecting you because she has no soul. Let's just say I'm stuck here. Send help. Quickly.
God speed,
Paul Pelosi
Dear Santa,
I know this isn't really your style, but can you be my agent? See my contract is about to expire and I really need to negotiate an extension. Do you think the Prince of Darkness will do 3 more years if I give him my child's eternity?
Many thanks,
Brett Favre
Dear Santa,
No worries, I'm good.
Thanks,
Giada's husband
Santa,
Please tell Denis to pay more attention to me in 2010.
Thanks,
Playstation 3
Hey Santa,
This year for Christmas I would like water, Gatorade, apple juice, vitamin water, cranberry juice, and milk.
'Preciate it,
John Daly's Liver
Who knew that John Daly's liver could address an envelope? Anyways, Merry Christmas everyone!
Dear Santa,
Now that I'm single, can you hook me up with Alex Rodriguez's phone number?
Thanks,
Tiger Woods
Dear Santa,
Now that I'm single, can you hook me up with Alex Rodriguez's phone number?
Thanks,
Elin Nordegren
Hi Santa!!
Ugh...can you please ruin that skinny bitch Taylor Swift's career? Have one of your elves make up a sex tape with her and Pikachu or something. Btw, have you seen my new tattoo? Yeah you have! And oh yeah, keep that whole me-and-Billy Ray thing quiet...I was hoping Mackenzie Phillips got a better reaction so I could admit it too.
Love Ya!
Miley
Santa,
Can you please tell the same 5 people to stop updating their Facebook status? They take up my entire News Feed every day.
Sincerely,
The Other 99.99% of Facebook Users
Dear Santa,
You and me are pretty close. We're like ebony and ivory. Do me a favor here. My mom has been tearing up the house every Saturday in the fall for the last 10 years, and she doesn't even want to be called "their mother" anymore. I mean, I'd be pretty pissed if the Pittsburgh Pirates called themselves the Pittsburgh Jesuses. So can you please throw us a bone and give Notre Dame football a winning season next year? For crying out loud, this is ridiculous.
Dad bless,
JC
Yo Santa,
I know you're in the Christmas spirit and all, and I'm not one to break up a happy home, but man you should know that your woman just hit me up. Mrs. Claus just texted me, said she wanted to "sex me. LOL :) LOL :)". Then she sent a Twit-pic, saying "Come and get this, LOL :) LOL :)"
Be easy,
Trey Songz
Hey Santa,
Getcha fat ass over here and give me a hot dog, a 20 oz t-bone steak, 3 Big n' Tasties, fries from Johnny Rockets, and a Chick Fil-A milkshake, all on top of a naked woman lathered in Ranch dressing.
Yeah,
Rosie O'Donnell
Dear Santa,
If you've received this, there is hope yet. I am chained to a pipe in the crawl space in my DC apartment and I need you to bust me out. My wife won't be expecting you because she has no soul. Let's just say I'm stuck here. Send help. Quickly.
God speed,
Paul Pelosi
Dear Santa,
I know this isn't really your style, but can you be my agent? See my contract is about to expire and I really need to negotiate an extension. Do you think the Prince of Darkness will do 3 more years if I give him my child's eternity?
Many thanks,
Brett Favre
Dear Santa,
No worries, I'm good.
Thanks,
Giada's husband
Santa,
Please tell Denis to pay more attention to me in 2010.
Thanks,
Playstation 3
Hey Santa,
This year for Christmas I would like water, Gatorade, apple juice, vitamin water, cranberry juice, and milk.
'Preciate it,
John Daly's Liver
Who knew that John Daly's liver could address an envelope? Anyways, Merry Christmas everyone!
808's & Chronic
Let's be honest, Kanye West's 808's & Heartbreak is The Chronic of a new generation. Few albums can dramatically change the landscape of a musical genre but Kanye did just that on this innovative piece he released in November of 2008. Kanye released the album to critical acclaim and yet voters laid the smackdown just a year later as it was shut out of the 2009 Grammy nominations. First, second, and third-time listens often yield a premature review (guilty as charged), but after a year I can confidently say the album not only withstood the test of time but paved the way for other artists and styles in hip hop. 808's might not be the best album of the last decade, but it was certainly the most influential.
Dr. Dre released The Chronic in 1993, officially putting the new West Coast sound on the map. Up to this point, New Yorkers dominated the hip hop scene while if you heard one N.W.A. album you heard nearly everything the west had to offer. The signature east coast sound was emblazoned with real quick rhymes and low-budget production, emphasizing lyrics over beats. Dr. Dre slowed everything down, often sampling George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic, creating ultra-listenable tunes that weren't nearly as violent as the N.W.A. albums. Granted, the underlying style was still gangster rap so that never really went away, but most importantly, the singles appealed to the mainstream. Suburbians like me could listen to "Let Me Ride" and "Nuthin' But A G Thang" and not have to worry about shouting out to bloods and crips. The crossover ability of The Chronic changed hip hop in that it demonstrated the importance of hit singles. Rappers needed to get away from the hardcore material to establish a single, create hits, and sell records. The same formula applies today, sometimes even to a fault where a hit single sounds nothing like the rest of an album.
Fast forward 15 years and hip hop looked incredibly different. Turn on the radio and without turning the dial you find one-hit wonders, wanna-be gangsters, lying fools, and most importantly--autotune. Though the autotuner has been around for longer than just a few years, we can credit T-Pain for reintroducing it to the mainstream, and introducing it to hip hop. Every rapper and R&B artist felt the need to try the autotuner, and most failed miserably. Just the plain "uncoolness" of some artists killed their autotune experiences. The artists that could pull it off had a certain...je ne sais quoi. You have to be cutting edge, innovative, daring, experimental, unafraid...and all signs pointed to Kanye West.
You can think all you want about Kanye, but 2007 and 2008 could have been a little better for the guy. He lost his mother in a freak plastic surgery procedure-gone-wrong and was dumped by his long time girlfriend and fiance in a span of 6 months. According to legend, Kanye went to the head of Island Def Jam, the album's distributor, in the summer of 2008 and demanded that the album he was working on be released before the end of the year. Up until this time, Kanye was even rumored to be working on the 4th installment of his school-related albums, the 4th supposedly titled Good Ass Job. So he completely shifted gears, used all the pain in his life, and plowed through 808's & Heartbreak. He needed to take advantage of the autotune craze and to take a chance at making an album that, because of the timing of the industry and his life events, had a short window for recording and release. If anyone was going to take autotuner to the next level, it would be Kanye.
If you haven't gathered my feelings toward the album just yet, let's just say it doesn't disappoint. Kanye takes chances on 808's that no other hip hop artist of this time would, and especially not any rapper. First of all, though we can use the term "singing" loosely here, he sings the entire album using the autotuner. Secondly, the subject matter contained topics unheard of in hip hop. Gangsters don't talk about love. Gangsters don't talk about their moms. And gangsters certainly don't talk about having their heart broken. Kanye seduces the listener on the first two tracks with heavy drumbeats, piano chords, ominous background vocals, and lulling yet poignant vocals of his own that set the tone for the rest of the album. He lashes out as his ex for the first of many times, all the while expressing his own desires and faults. The album flows seamlessly into the smash single "Heartless," before attempting to build back his own confidence on "Amazing" and "Love Lockdown." The tracks are compiled in such a way that emulate the breakup process, and Kanye gets himself up here before becoming accusatory towards his ex in "Paranoid" and "Robocop." He then moves into the self-reflection phase on "Street Lights" and back into depression on "Bad News." "See You In My Nightmares" is reminiscient of a long night of binge drinking and anger, and the album ends on "Coldest Winter," his most touching track that puts all his relationship drama aside to focus on how much he misses his late mother. Taking a step back, any listener must realize the brilliance of this compilation. Makes you wish you could put all his nonsense in the media aside, doesn't it?
808's & Heartbreak has made it acceptable for hip hop artists to get outside their comfort zones. The only album as intimate as it is Kid Cudi's Man on the Moon: The End of Day in 2009, not a surprise given the close relationship between Kanye and Cudi (though some say it was Cudi who influenced Kanye when recording 808's). Many hip hop artists are attempting to go the way of dance and electronica because of the 808's influence, and the autotuner still gets heavy play on the airwaves. Kanye blurred the lines between hip hop and pop, and many artists in other genres are starting to blur the lines between genres as well. We continue to see compilations between rockers and hip hoppers, and I wouldn't be surprised to see compilations with crooners in the near future (if it hasn't happened already). Music is becoming less polarizing as artists branch out in style and their listeners branch out in regards to taste. The industry is in a win-win situation as artists push the innovative envelope, and it can thank Mr. West for this.
Dr. Dre released The Chronic in 1993, officially putting the new West Coast sound on the map. Up to this point, New Yorkers dominated the hip hop scene while if you heard one N.W.A. album you heard nearly everything the west had to offer. The signature east coast sound was emblazoned with real quick rhymes and low-budget production, emphasizing lyrics over beats. Dr. Dre slowed everything down, often sampling George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic, creating ultra-listenable tunes that weren't nearly as violent as the N.W.A. albums. Granted, the underlying style was still gangster rap so that never really went away, but most importantly, the singles appealed to the mainstream. Suburbians like me could listen to "Let Me Ride" and "Nuthin' But A G Thang" and not have to worry about shouting out to bloods and crips. The crossover ability of The Chronic changed hip hop in that it demonstrated the importance of hit singles. Rappers needed to get away from the hardcore material to establish a single, create hits, and sell records. The same formula applies today, sometimes even to a fault where a hit single sounds nothing like the rest of an album.
Fast forward 15 years and hip hop looked incredibly different. Turn on the radio and without turning the dial you find one-hit wonders, wanna-be gangsters, lying fools, and most importantly--autotune. Though the autotuner has been around for longer than just a few years, we can credit T-Pain for reintroducing it to the mainstream, and introducing it to hip hop. Every rapper and R&B artist felt the need to try the autotuner, and most failed miserably. Just the plain "uncoolness" of some artists killed their autotune experiences. The artists that could pull it off had a certain...je ne sais quoi. You have to be cutting edge, innovative, daring, experimental, unafraid...and all signs pointed to Kanye West.
You can think all you want about Kanye, but 2007 and 2008 could have been a little better for the guy. He lost his mother in a freak plastic surgery procedure-gone-wrong and was dumped by his long time girlfriend and fiance in a span of 6 months. According to legend, Kanye went to the head of Island Def Jam, the album's distributor, in the summer of 2008 and demanded that the album he was working on be released before the end of the year. Up until this time, Kanye was even rumored to be working on the 4th installment of his school-related albums, the 4th supposedly titled Good Ass Job. So he completely shifted gears, used all the pain in his life, and plowed through 808's & Heartbreak. He needed to take advantage of the autotune craze and to take a chance at making an album that, because of the timing of the industry and his life events, had a short window for recording and release. If anyone was going to take autotuner to the next level, it would be Kanye.
If you haven't gathered my feelings toward the album just yet, let's just say it doesn't disappoint. Kanye takes chances on 808's that no other hip hop artist of this time would, and especially not any rapper. First of all, though we can use the term "singing" loosely here, he sings the entire album using the autotuner. Secondly, the subject matter contained topics unheard of in hip hop. Gangsters don't talk about love. Gangsters don't talk about their moms. And gangsters certainly don't talk about having their heart broken. Kanye seduces the listener on the first two tracks with heavy drumbeats, piano chords, ominous background vocals, and lulling yet poignant vocals of his own that set the tone for the rest of the album. He lashes out as his ex for the first of many times, all the while expressing his own desires and faults. The album flows seamlessly into the smash single "Heartless," before attempting to build back his own confidence on "Amazing" and "Love Lockdown." The tracks are compiled in such a way that emulate the breakup process, and Kanye gets himself up here before becoming accusatory towards his ex in "Paranoid" and "Robocop." He then moves into the self-reflection phase on "Street Lights" and back into depression on "Bad News." "See You In My Nightmares" is reminiscient of a long night of binge drinking and anger, and the album ends on "Coldest Winter," his most touching track that puts all his relationship drama aside to focus on how much he misses his late mother. Taking a step back, any listener must realize the brilliance of this compilation. Makes you wish you could put all his nonsense in the media aside, doesn't it?
808's & Heartbreak has made it acceptable for hip hop artists to get outside their comfort zones. The only album as intimate as it is Kid Cudi's Man on the Moon: The End of Day in 2009, not a surprise given the close relationship between Kanye and Cudi (though some say it was Cudi who influenced Kanye when recording 808's). Many hip hop artists are attempting to go the way of dance and electronica because of the 808's influence, and the autotuner still gets heavy play on the airwaves. Kanye blurred the lines between hip hop and pop, and many artists in other genres are starting to blur the lines between genres as well. We continue to see compilations between rockers and hip hoppers, and I wouldn't be surprised to see compilations with crooners in the near future (if it hasn't happened already). Music is becoming less polarizing as artists branch out in style and their listeners branch out in regards to taste. The industry is in a win-win situation as artists push the innovative envelope, and it can thank Mr. West for this.
An Era Of Sports Greatness
Let's be honest, if you followed sports from 1983 to 2009, you witnessed the greatest athlete to ever play most American sports. In some cases, the greatness is from pure talent while it others that greatness is a product of playing in an era. Of the 4 major American sports, 3 have been played by the greatest player or players the sport has ever seen in just the last 26 years. Golf has also seen its greatest player in that time, and one could make a case that boxing will as well once a certain fighter finishes his career. Nonetheless, we should feel honored to call ourselves sports fans living in this time.
Let's jump right into each sport, here:
NFL- Since the NFL is so position-specific and each is extraordinarily different from the other, we need to separate the greatest players for the 3 major offensive positions. At quarterback you have Brett Favre, running back Emmitt Smith, and wide receiver Jerry Rice. Others exist that you could make an argument for--Joe Montana, Dan Marino, Peyton Manning, and Barry Sanders. None of them change the point though--each of these players played in the league since 1983. The NFL is a sport, though, that has benefitted from the exponential advancement in medical science in that era. The sport is grueling enough that the marvels of modern medicine literally kept (or keep) each of these guys going. Was there natural talent involved? Of course. But put a lot of these same players in the 1950's and they're not as great as they are playing when they did.
NHL- The undisputed answer here is Wayne Gretzky (with some votes for Mario Lemieux) and the goalkeeping honors going to Patrick Roy or Martin Broduer. Gretz's talent would make him a superstar in any era but the goalies benefitted from rules allowing them excessive padding in the 90's. So while Wayne is legit, perhaps Roy and Marty's success is a product of the rules of the game in a specific era.
NBA- Michael Jordan is the greatest to ever play, hence why everyone calls the greatest player of a generation "the next MJ." Though Jordan's talent was undeniable, his success was part in parcel because of the way Magic and Bird opened up the game in the 80's. Jordan didn't know how to be anything but an explosive player who attacked the rim and demanded the ball in late-game situations. That just wasn't the nature of the game in the mid 20th Century, but you never know--maybe he would have been the one to change everything.
Golf/Boxing- Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer to ever play the game, and the margin will widen with each additional year he plays. The guy is 33 and has 71 tour victories, 14 Major champmionships, 10 Player of the Year awards, the lowest scoring average ever, and a 30% win rate. 30%! His work ethic and love of the sport make him even that much better, too. BUT...Jack Nicklaus and Arnie Palmer never had lit driving ranges. Never had rescue clubs. Never had the swing analyzing technology. Never had supplements. As good as Tiger is, he is the prime example of a player taking advantage of his era. Same with Manny Pacquiao, the #1 pound-for-pound fighter in the world. He's won titles in 7 different weight classes, a feat that is his and his alone. He's knocked out some of the greatest fighters in each division--Marco Antonio Barrera, Juan Manuel Marquez, Oscar de la Hoya, Miguel Cotto. But again, Manny has only been able to move up and down in weight class as quickly as he has because of the advances in strength training. He has the benefit of sparring against the world's best and even moving his training camp home to the Phillipines despite fighting solely in the US.
The one sport I'm intentionally avoiding is baseball, of course. I'd like to say that Babe Ruth is the greatest player ever, but who did he even play against? The older players played in a league without much talent, diversity, or travel while the modern players are tainted by the steroid cloud that covers everyone post 1980. Pitchers pitched off mounds of different heights and with balls claimed to be deadened or juiced. There are simply too many deus ex machina events that have changed baseball's history, making it impossible to compare eras.
It's fascinating to think that if you follow sports in this era that you've seen almost every sport's greatest athlete ever. It's just as interesting to think about whether those athletes succeeded from pure talent or something else. I'm not knocking anyone who was a "product of an era," as I called them, though. If athletes can take advantage of their surroundings and exploit either rules or available science to get an edge (legally, of course), then I give them even more props for that. Sometimes it's all about being in the right place at the right time.
Let's jump right into each sport, here:
NFL- Since the NFL is so position-specific and each is extraordinarily different from the other, we need to separate the greatest players for the 3 major offensive positions. At quarterback you have Brett Favre, running back Emmitt Smith, and wide receiver Jerry Rice. Others exist that you could make an argument for--Joe Montana, Dan Marino, Peyton Manning, and Barry Sanders. None of them change the point though--each of these players played in the league since 1983. The NFL is a sport, though, that has benefitted from the exponential advancement in medical science in that era. The sport is grueling enough that the marvels of modern medicine literally kept (or keep) each of these guys going. Was there natural talent involved? Of course. But put a lot of these same players in the 1950's and they're not as great as they are playing when they did.
NHL- The undisputed answer here is Wayne Gretzky (with some votes for Mario Lemieux) and the goalkeeping honors going to Patrick Roy or Martin Broduer. Gretz's talent would make him a superstar in any era but the goalies benefitted from rules allowing them excessive padding in the 90's. So while Wayne is legit, perhaps Roy and Marty's success is a product of the rules of the game in a specific era.
NBA- Michael Jordan is the greatest to ever play, hence why everyone calls the greatest player of a generation "the next MJ." Though Jordan's talent was undeniable, his success was part in parcel because of the way Magic and Bird opened up the game in the 80's. Jordan didn't know how to be anything but an explosive player who attacked the rim and demanded the ball in late-game situations. That just wasn't the nature of the game in the mid 20th Century, but you never know--maybe he would have been the one to change everything.
Golf/Boxing- Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer to ever play the game, and the margin will widen with each additional year he plays. The guy is 33 and has 71 tour victories, 14 Major champmionships, 10 Player of the Year awards, the lowest scoring average ever, and a 30% win rate. 30%! His work ethic and love of the sport make him even that much better, too. BUT...Jack Nicklaus and Arnie Palmer never had lit driving ranges. Never had rescue clubs. Never had the swing analyzing technology. Never had supplements. As good as Tiger is, he is the prime example of a player taking advantage of his era. Same with Manny Pacquiao, the #1 pound-for-pound fighter in the world. He's won titles in 7 different weight classes, a feat that is his and his alone. He's knocked out some of the greatest fighters in each division--Marco Antonio Barrera, Juan Manuel Marquez, Oscar de la Hoya, Miguel Cotto. But again, Manny has only been able to move up and down in weight class as quickly as he has because of the advances in strength training. He has the benefit of sparring against the world's best and even moving his training camp home to the Phillipines despite fighting solely in the US.
The one sport I'm intentionally avoiding is baseball, of course. I'd like to say that Babe Ruth is the greatest player ever, but who did he even play against? The older players played in a league without much talent, diversity, or travel while the modern players are tainted by the steroid cloud that covers everyone post 1980. Pitchers pitched off mounds of different heights and with balls claimed to be deadened or juiced. There are simply too many deus ex machina events that have changed baseball's history, making it impossible to compare eras.
It's fascinating to think that if you follow sports in this era that you've seen almost every sport's greatest athlete ever. It's just as interesting to think about whether those athletes succeeded from pure talent or something else. I'm not knocking anyone who was a "product of an era," as I called them, though. If athletes can take advantage of their surroundings and exploit either rules or available science to get an edge (legally, of course), then I give them even more props for that. Sometimes it's all about being in the right place at the right time.
What If...?
Let's be honest, one instance can change the public's perception of someone and start a chain of events that sends that person off the deep end. I realize we could play this game and blow the "butterfly effect" out of the water, but for some people this is quite valid. Unfortunately, the end result of the "What if" game always ends one way: it doesn't matter, because the "if" never happened. But can we imagine what the future would have held for Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton, and Mike Tyson without each of their tragic flaws? Moreover, can we ever separate a person's job performance/responsibility from their personal issues?
I recently attended a showing of This Is It, the movie containing behind-the-scenes footage of Michael Jackson's tour that never was, terminated because of his untimely death. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and was reminded of the reason Michael became the sensation he was--his music, dance, and overall entertainment value. The guy was uber-talented and it's hard to imagine another performer in my lifetime with the talent to reach his echelon. But can we ever have a conversation about Michael or properly assess his place in history without mentioning the allegations of kid-touching? Neglecting to mention the allegations turn them into the 800-pound gorilla in the room no one wants to acknowledge. No hard evidence exists and Michael was acquitted on all criminal charges, but his out-of-court settlements with other children and his overall creepy demeanor in the last ten years only build suspicion. The guy certainly didn't make it easy to think he wasn't touching kids, with the amusement park, fascination with Peter Pan, pajamas in public, and the like. Or maybe he was just a weird dude that wanted to live the childhood he never had vicariously through other children whom he found so innocent and joyful. So what if the allegations never existed? How big would Michael be? It's scary to think of a talent that great with a legacy so clean. But we'll never know, and in Michael's case I think it's impossible to separate his personal issues from his music.
Moving over to politics, Bill Clinton's presidency and overall legacy will be forever tainted because of his relationship with Monica Lewinsky. "Slick Willy" was the benefactor of the youth movement in the 90's as he mobilized generation X'ers who vaulted him into office. Take Lewinsky out of the picture and what would Bill be remembered for? The country experienced substantial economic growth, low unemployment levels through job creation, and lowered trade barriers with our North American couterparts. Of course no president is flawless and he still would be remembered for letting Osama bin Laden escape and encouraging every American to own a house (see 2008-2009...whoops). But in the word-association game, Bill Clinton will always be coupled with Monica Lewinsky, probably more so than he would be with Hillary Clinton. So what if Monica never interned at the White House? Would Bill have found another Monica? Maybe a Bonnie, Victoria, or some other whore? Or would have he avoided perjury, impeachment, and a life-long reputation? It doesn't really matter, because the affair seems to have actually made Bill more popular, and hasn't stopped him from selling books and pushing his political agenda via the Clinton machine. As with Michael Jackson, Bill's personal issues are impossible to separate from his job responsibility.
Lastly, Mike Tyson wouldn't be Mike Tyson without the Evander Holyfield ear-chewing incident. Iron Mike was the toughest, meanest SOB in the sport up until 1990 when he was knocked out by Buster Douglas in Tokyo, Japan. Perhaps he lost because he wasn't as good as the hype, perhaps he underestimated Douglas, but regardless, this wasn't the turning point of his career. On November 9, 1996, Evander Holyfield cleaned Tyson's clock, winning by TKO in the 11th round. Seven months later in the highly-anticipated rematch, Tyson snapped in the 3rd round and was disqualified for biting both of Holyfield's ears in one of the most bizarre moments in sports history. What made Tyson snap? Did he go off the deep end during his prison stint just a few years prior? Was he always psycho, evidenced by the convicted rape of Desiree Washington that put him in prison? Tyson was always a bit scary, which is why he was so successful early in his career, but the Holyfield incident put his insanity right in everyone's faces. Four years later, Tyson commented that he'd "eat Lennox Lewis' children," and he even KO'd Andrew Golota in 2000 despite being high as a kite. The answer to the "What if" question about Tyson appears to be likewise irrelevant because he would have found another way to make news. I don't think the ear-chewing incident made him realize that he was insane and everyone knew it...some people are just wired differently, and Iron Mike is one of those people. Because of this, Mike's career would have spiraled downward somehow and history wouldn't be too much different. Again, can you separate Tyson the boxer from the ear-chewing incident and his impending nutcase status? Nope.
So, boys and girls, what have we learned today? Three cases is hardly a reasonable sample of the population, but unfortunately you can't separate someone's person issues from their job responsibility. And you certainly can't separate those issues from a historical legacy, either. The baggage, for better or worse, becomes engrained in that person and ultimately works in conjunction with everything else to define that person.
I recently attended a showing of This Is It, the movie containing behind-the-scenes footage of Michael Jackson's tour that never was, terminated because of his untimely death. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and was reminded of the reason Michael became the sensation he was--his music, dance, and overall entertainment value. The guy was uber-talented and it's hard to imagine another performer in my lifetime with the talent to reach his echelon. But can we ever have a conversation about Michael or properly assess his place in history without mentioning the allegations of kid-touching? Neglecting to mention the allegations turn them into the 800-pound gorilla in the room no one wants to acknowledge. No hard evidence exists and Michael was acquitted on all criminal charges, but his out-of-court settlements with other children and his overall creepy demeanor in the last ten years only build suspicion. The guy certainly didn't make it easy to think he wasn't touching kids, with the amusement park, fascination with Peter Pan, pajamas in public, and the like. Or maybe he was just a weird dude that wanted to live the childhood he never had vicariously through other children whom he found so innocent and joyful. So what if the allegations never existed? How big would Michael be? It's scary to think of a talent that great with a legacy so clean. But we'll never know, and in Michael's case I think it's impossible to separate his personal issues from his music.
Moving over to politics, Bill Clinton's presidency and overall legacy will be forever tainted because of his relationship with Monica Lewinsky. "Slick Willy" was the benefactor of the youth movement in the 90's as he mobilized generation X'ers who vaulted him into office. Take Lewinsky out of the picture and what would Bill be remembered for? The country experienced substantial economic growth, low unemployment levels through job creation, and lowered trade barriers with our North American couterparts. Of course no president is flawless and he still would be remembered for letting Osama bin Laden escape and encouraging every American to own a house (see 2008-2009...whoops). But in the word-association game, Bill Clinton will always be coupled with Monica Lewinsky, probably more so than he would be with Hillary Clinton. So what if Monica never interned at the White House? Would Bill have found another Monica? Maybe a Bonnie, Victoria, or some other whore? Or would have he avoided perjury, impeachment, and a life-long reputation? It doesn't really matter, because the affair seems to have actually made Bill more popular, and hasn't stopped him from selling books and pushing his political agenda via the Clinton machine. As with Michael Jackson, Bill's personal issues are impossible to separate from his job responsibility.
Lastly, Mike Tyson wouldn't be Mike Tyson without the Evander Holyfield ear-chewing incident. Iron Mike was the toughest, meanest SOB in the sport up until 1990 when he was knocked out by Buster Douglas in Tokyo, Japan. Perhaps he lost because he wasn't as good as the hype, perhaps he underestimated Douglas, but regardless, this wasn't the turning point of his career. On November 9, 1996, Evander Holyfield cleaned Tyson's clock, winning by TKO in the 11th round. Seven months later in the highly-anticipated rematch, Tyson snapped in the 3rd round and was disqualified for biting both of Holyfield's ears in one of the most bizarre moments in sports history. What made Tyson snap? Did he go off the deep end during his prison stint just a few years prior? Was he always psycho, evidenced by the convicted rape of Desiree Washington that put him in prison? Tyson was always a bit scary, which is why he was so successful early in his career, but the Holyfield incident put his insanity right in everyone's faces. Four years later, Tyson commented that he'd "eat Lennox Lewis' children," and he even KO'd Andrew Golota in 2000 despite being high as a kite. The answer to the "What if" question about Tyson appears to be likewise irrelevant because he would have found another way to make news. I don't think the ear-chewing incident made him realize that he was insane and everyone knew it...some people are just wired differently, and Iron Mike is one of those people. Because of this, Mike's career would have spiraled downward somehow and history wouldn't be too much different. Again, can you separate Tyson the boxer from the ear-chewing incident and his impending nutcase status? Nope.
So, boys and girls, what have we learned today? Three cases is hardly a reasonable sample of the population, but unfortunately you can't separate someone's person issues from their job responsibility. And you certainly can't separate those issues from a historical legacy, either. The baggage, for better or worse, becomes engrained in that person and ultimately works in conjunction with everything else to define that person.
Hearting Palin
Let's be honest, Sarah Palin is the bomb.com. I won't lie to you and say I'm her biggest fan, but what I love most is the chord she has struck with the Left. The Left has spent more time and energy villifying an Alaskan hockey mom than it has trying to solve the healthcare problem, and all for one reason: jealousy.
I remember the day I heard that John McCain selected Sarah Palin (who?) as his running mate. And I remember thinking, "Absolutely brilliant." Loved the idea. The Democratic party just finished waging an internal war where an up-and-coming Chicago governor upset the former president's better half for top billing on the 2008 US Presidential ballot. Hill was the favorite to win the nomination and many people invested many monies to make sure she did so. Only problem, she wasn't cool enough to appeal to young'ns who preferred Barry Obama's energy and freshness. Liberal females who pinned their hopes on Hill were crushed again, left to wonder if a female would ever get on a presidential ticket and represent females across the board. Barry didn't even deem her a suitable running mate, further crushing the female pro-Hillary base and resurrecting the thought that Washington would forever be controlled by crusty old white guys. Next, Republican candidate John McCain weighed his VP options--would he choose Tim Pawlenty? Bobby Jindal? Condi Rice? Nope, none of those. He then trots out the Alaskan governor few had ever heard of, and so began the fascination with Sarah Palin.
The Left immediately criticized Palin as small-time, inexperienced, and out-of-touch. But in reality, how ironic is it that the "party of the people" would so violently attack a gun-toting, moose-hunting, Pee Wee hockey-loving, happily married mother of 5? What's more blue collar than that? Leftists, and women particularly, were waiting for a worthy female candidate to rise to the top, and all of a sudden they got their wish. One thing, though...she played for the other team. They couldn't stand that Repubs beat them to the punch and pushed the nation's first ever female on a presidential ticket. It killed them. If I had told you in January of 2008 that a female would be on the presidential ticket, what party would have first come to mind? Not only would you immediately have homed in on the Democrats, but you would have first thought of old Hill. If not, you would have guessed that a popular female was running independently. The old crumudgens of the Republican Party would never do something like that.
Allow me an analogy. In the winter of 2004, the Red Sox, Yankees, Orioles, and Reds pursued a young pitcher by the name of Carl Pavano. He was a 28-year old stud with a live fastball and a World Series ring to boot. Everyone wanted this guy--he toured the stadiums and met with management all while fans of all the aforementioned teams called into sports radio shows to talk about how they needed Carl's services. He ultimately signed with the Yankees despite receiving bigger offers from Boston and Cincinnati. Carl Pavano went from one day being hailed as the next big thing in Boston and another prized young arm to the next day being a total bum. That he signed with the Yankees made him an overpaid, egotistical, lazy diva. At the end of the day, Yankees fans and Red Sox fans both recognize the best talent in the league and they want their organizations to go out and get the best players. They both want good guys. They're really just rooting for the laundry.
Republicans and Democrats want the same kind of candidates--newsworthy, bold, interesting, strong-willed people. The "fans" of each of these parties are really just "rooting for the laundry." Just like Carl Pavano was nearly burned in effigy by Red Sox fans the day he donned his #45 Yankees jersey, Sarah Palin was egged as soon as she set foot on stage for the first time. I remember hearing liberal female friends of mine who were "outraged" and "disgusted" by Palin--a candidate they likely knew nothing about. Don't you think if you took Mrs. Palin, kept her fiery energy and stubbornness, and slapped some liberal values on her, she would be a total rock star for the Left? They would eat her right up! She'd be the next big thing! Keith Olberman would have Sarah Palin underwear! It's clear that Sarah has not gotten a fair shake from the media, but for obvious reasons. The liberally-controlled media is terrified of Palin-mania and figures that by trashing her, it's doing its part to slow her momentum. At this point, you can't really stop her, you can only hope to contain her. In the end, we all need to just take a step back from the situation. If you want to hate someone, do your homework and be educated. Have good reasons. Make your own decisions. Don't just root against the laundry.
I remember the day I heard that John McCain selected Sarah Palin (who?) as his running mate. And I remember thinking, "Absolutely brilliant." Loved the idea. The Democratic party just finished waging an internal war where an up-and-coming Chicago governor upset the former president's better half for top billing on the 2008 US Presidential ballot. Hill was the favorite to win the nomination and many people invested many monies to make sure she did so. Only problem, she wasn't cool enough to appeal to young'ns who preferred Barry Obama's energy and freshness. Liberal females who pinned their hopes on Hill were crushed again, left to wonder if a female would ever get on a presidential ticket and represent females across the board. Barry didn't even deem her a suitable running mate, further crushing the female pro-Hillary base and resurrecting the thought that Washington would forever be controlled by crusty old white guys. Next, Republican candidate John McCain weighed his VP options--would he choose Tim Pawlenty? Bobby Jindal? Condi Rice? Nope, none of those. He then trots out the Alaskan governor few had ever heard of, and so began the fascination with Sarah Palin.
The Left immediately criticized Palin as small-time, inexperienced, and out-of-touch. But in reality, how ironic is it that the "party of the people" would so violently attack a gun-toting, moose-hunting, Pee Wee hockey-loving, happily married mother of 5? What's more blue collar than that? Leftists, and women particularly, were waiting for a worthy female candidate to rise to the top, and all of a sudden they got their wish. One thing, though...she played for the other team. They couldn't stand that Repubs beat them to the punch and pushed the nation's first ever female on a presidential ticket. It killed them. If I had told you in January of 2008 that a female would be on the presidential ticket, what party would have first come to mind? Not only would you immediately have homed in on the Democrats, but you would have first thought of old Hill. If not, you would have guessed that a popular female was running independently. The old crumudgens of the Republican Party would never do something like that.
Allow me an analogy. In the winter of 2004, the Red Sox, Yankees, Orioles, and Reds pursued a young pitcher by the name of Carl Pavano. He was a 28-year old stud with a live fastball and a World Series ring to boot. Everyone wanted this guy--he toured the stadiums and met with management all while fans of all the aforementioned teams called into sports radio shows to talk about how they needed Carl's services. He ultimately signed with the Yankees despite receiving bigger offers from Boston and Cincinnati. Carl Pavano went from one day being hailed as the next big thing in Boston and another prized young arm to the next day being a total bum. That he signed with the Yankees made him an overpaid, egotistical, lazy diva. At the end of the day, Yankees fans and Red Sox fans both recognize the best talent in the league and they want their organizations to go out and get the best players. They both want good guys. They're really just rooting for the laundry.
Republicans and Democrats want the same kind of candidates--newsworthy, bold, interesting, strong-willed people. The "fans" of each of these parties are really just "rooting for the laundry." Just like Carl Pavano was nearly burned in effigy by Red Sox fans the day he donned his #45 Yankees jersey, Sarah Palin was egged as soon as she set foot on stage for the first time. I remember hearing liberal female friends of mine who were "outraged" and "disgusted" by Palin--a candidate they likely knew nothing about. Don't you think if you took Mrs. Palin, kept her fiery energy and stubbornness, and slapped some liberal values on her, she would be a total rock star for the Left? They would eat her right up! She'd be the next big thing! Keith Olberman would have Sarah Palin underwear! It's clear that Sarah has not gotten a fair shake from the media, but for obvious reasons. The liberally-controlled media is terrified of Palin-mania and figures that by trashing her, it's doing its part to slow her momentum. At this point, you can't really stop her, you can only hope to contain her. In the end, we all need to just take a step back from the situation. If you want to hate someone, do your homework and be educated. Have good reasons. Make your own decisions. Don't just root against the laundry.
Culture Shock
Let's be honest, maybe democracy is not for everyone. This admission is difficult for me as I stood behind a president that took our country to war on the basis of spreading democracy. But just as companies fail when they try to enter new regions without first conducting the necessary due diligence, so do nations and ideals. We do a lot of things well in America, but we need to lose this assumption that because things work domestically that they will succeed abroad.
Maybe the United States went to war for oil, maybe it went for the purposes of spreading democracy, maybe a little of both. We believed that the Iraqi people were being denied a freedom of speech, a freedom to choose, and a freedom to vote. And hell, who wouldn't want those? As Americans, we believe that our American rights equate to basic human rights and to happiness. But to see why this is not true around the globe, we needn't look any further than China.
The Western media portrays the Chinese government as an evil oppressive group of men who slip babies the "blue pill" at birth to keep citizens in the dark and shielded from the horrors of the world. I imagined government officials lurking the streets and kidnapping people they've tracked online while other rebels slip into speakeasies to gripe about the local regime. Is China a communist country with regulations on free speech? Yes. Is it oppressing the Chinese people? That could not be further from the truth.
Taking a step back, when Americans study US history, we have just over 230 years to cover. The Chinese have thousands of years of history to study, and out of that history comes this weird thing called "culture." As a country without culture, it's hard for Americans to fully grasp this concept and how it affects every person, every day. The Chinese are a hard-working people, though their motives have begun to shift from country pride to self worth, but they are hard-working nonetheless. They are prideful, but also collectivist. It's engrained in their being to work hard while they have the ability to do so. The average Chinese man retires at 55, average woman at 50. After they pay their debt to society, the government takes care of them. They believe it is the government's responsibility to solve their problems. They appreciate what the government does for them. According to Hofstede's Dimensions of Natural Culture, the Chinese rank 3rd highest in the world in a category called "Power Distance," meaning they accept that power in organizations is distributed unequally (with the Russians being the highest as proven by their acceptance and love for Ivan the Terrible, Stalin, and Putin). There's something to be said for a one-party system, too. Ultimately, the government has the final say in anything that will affect the country--business, economics, social science, etc--but if it wants to accomplish a goal, guess what happens? It gets done. No bickering, no petty debating, just action. Need to rebuild an entire district by next summer for the World Expo? No problem, done. Need to enact a new governmental policy? Done. I'm sure the government makes mistakes, but instead of living with a terrible decision until the next vote comes around, it justs takes more action to remedy the problem. And you know what? The Chinese people are okay with that. As my wife and I toured the Temple of Heaven and witnessed seemlingly euphoric retirees singing, dancing, playing cards, and relaxing, she said, "These people are freer than we will ever be."
The only reason I know this is because I was there. Not to say that our government officials haven't, but did it really take President Obama 11 months to make his first visit? China is a country that, because of its growth, production capacity, and innovation, will dominate the globe one day. They're smart about it, too! The English language is circulating and growing in the country, and China is preparing to adapt to other cultures in order to maximize its potential for succeeding in business around the world. Can we say that 1% of Americans speak Chinese? Why don't we get it? What are we waiting for? Is it nieivity? Stupidity? Arrogance?
To stay with the "Matrix" analogy, you could argue that the Chinese people are shielded from the outside world and that everyone should truly know about the world in which he lives. But you have to first understand the culture and what is important to them. Just as we are having trouble establishing democracy in the Middle East, democracy would never work in China. But it doesn't have to, not every country needs democracy. Americans need to stop trying to change everyone and instead work on understanding everyone.
Maybe the United States went to war for oil, maybe it went for the purposes of spreading democracy, maybe a little of both. We believed that the Iraqi people were being denied a freedom of speech, a freedom to choose, and a freedom to vote. And hell, who wouldn't want those? As Americans, we believe that our American rights equate to basic human rights and to happiness. But to see why this is not true around the globe, we needn't look any further than China.
The Western media portrays the Chinese government as an evil oppressive group of men who slip babies the "blue pill" at birth to keep citizens in the dark and shielded from the horrors of the world. I imagined government officials lurking the streets and kidnapping people they've tracked online while other rebels slip into speakeasies to gripe about the local regime. Is China a communist country with regulations on free speech? Yes. Is it oppressing the Chinese people? That could not be further from the truth.
Taking a step back, when Americans study US history, we have just over 230 years to cover. The Chinese have thousands of years of history to study, and out of that history comes this weird thing called "culture." As a country without culture, it's hard for Americans to fully grasp this concept and how it affects every person, every day. The Chinese are a hard-working people, though their motives have begun to shift from country pride to self worth, but they are hard-working nonetheless. They are prideful, but also collectivist. It's engrained in their being to work hard while they have the ability to do so. The average Chinese man retires at 55, average woman at 50. After they pay their debt to society, the government takes care of them. They believe it is the government's responsibility to solve their problems. They appreciate what the government does for them. According to Hofstede's Dimensions of Natural Culture, the Chinese rank 3rd highest in the world in a category called "Power Distance," meaning they accept that power in organizations is distributed unequally (with the Russians being the highest as proven by their acceptance and love for Ivan the Terrible, Stalin, and Putin). There's something to be said for a one-party system, too. Ultimately, the government has the final say in anything that will affect the country--business, economics, social science, etc--but if it wants to accomplish a goal, guess what happens? It gets done. No bickering, no petty debating, just action. Need to rebuild an entire district by next summer for the World Expo? No problem, done. Need to enact a new governmental policy? Done. I'm sure the government makes mistakes, but instead of living with a terrible decision until the next vote comes around, it justs takes more action to remedy the problem. And you know what? The Chinese people are okay with that. As my wife and I toured the Temple of Heaven and witnessed seemlingly euphoric retirees singing, dancing, playing cards, and relaxing, she said, "These people are freer than we will ever be."
The only reason I know this is because I was there. Not to say that our government officials haven't, but did it really take President Obama 11 months to make his first visit? China is a country that, because of its growth, production capacity, and innovation, will dominate the globe one day. They're smart about it, too! The English language is circulating and growing in the country, and China is preparing to adapt to other cultures in order to maximize its potential for succeeding in business around the world. Can we say that 1% of Americans speak Chinese? Why don't we get it? What are we waiting for? Is it nieivity? Stupidity? Arrogance?
To stay with the "Matrix" analogy, you could argue that the Chinese people are shielded from the outside world and that everyone should truly know about the world in which he lives. But you have to first understand the culture and what is important to them. Just as we are having trouble establishing democracy in the Middle East, democracy would never work in China. But it doesn't have to, not every country needs democracy. Americans need to stop trying to change everyone and instead work on understanding everyone.
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