What Not To Wear

Let’s be honest, clothes make the man and appearance matters no matter how much you may want to deny it. Personality, intelligence, and wit can get you so far, but at the end of the day you have to look the part. Don’t confuse looks with appearance, either—the two are distinctly different. This doesn’t make us shallow as a society or culture; it makes us better.

I used to be of the opposing view. Who cares what I look like? My friends like me for me and accept me for my unique style. Mismatching makes me eclectic—I can mix colors, patterns, or plain not give a damn. And you know what? There’s a time and place for all of that—it’s called high school. Probably even be able to get away with it in college. Speaking from my own experience, I first attended an all boy private high school; an institution where you may think it’d be hard to screw up a wardrobe if there’s a dress code. Wrong. Since there were no girls, nobody cared what he looked like. Hardly anyone knew what a comb was, we had “Ugliest Tie” competitions in class, and just because you had to wear a button-down shirt, Dockers, and a tie, it didn’t mean you had to wear them well. No lie, there was a kid who went to bed in his clothes so he could sleep an extra 30-40 minutes and literally roll out onto the bus. There were kids who wore the same clothes every day for weeks at a time. Who was there to impress?

A public co-ed high school seems to operate a little differently, you know, with the presence of girls and all. You start seeing some button-down shirts and everyone wears jeans, but there is still a large percentage who wears what is comfortable—tee shirts, sweatshirts, gym shorts, etc. You also see a lot of awkward-looking teens trying to dress older than they are. Girls with no clue how use lipstick come to school looking Miss Piggy after a bumpy train ride. But since nobody knows any better than anyone else, everyone can afford to make mistakes.

Then it seems like we regress in college. Sweatpants and hoodies become common classroom attire and no one flinches. The nightlife forces some to upgrade their wardrobes to include club-wear, but unless you’re with someone who knows what he/she is doing, you walk into the store and have no idea what to buy. What you think looks good is a warped impression formed over the last 10 years of mismatching and wearing sweats. The turning point, at least for guys, is getting a girlfriend (I can’t take credit for this theory/realization, but it is true). Look at the difference in wardrobe of college guys with girlfriends, and college guys who are single (and straight—let’s be honest, gay guys are inherently better dressers). Most girls have an inane fashion sense, but more importantly they care enough about the appearance of the guys they are seen with to say something.

So at least now we have an idea of where all of this stems from. If a terrible wardrobe outlasted high school and college and has carried over to the real world, it’s time for an intervention. Pick up a magazine or two. Turn on the television and see what good looking people are wearing (NOT MTV). If you stand out in a crowd, and not in a good way, your friends are embarrassed by you. You are a bright red pair of clown shoes. No one can take you seriously and you are here for entertainment purposes only. Unfortunately, your friends often don’t have the heart to tell you this. If you are over the age of 25, you should stop shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch. Might want to cut out American Eagle and Aeropostale, too. Those clothes are intended for high school and college kids, and people above this age range trying to look younger actually look older when they put these on. Unless of course you’re 25 and still get carded at the horse race track. If you look like a slob, you are unapproachable. It’s probably harder for you to find dates, jobs, or even friends. Dressing well shows that you have respect for your own self and for your colleagues and friends. If you think nice clothes are too expensive, consider them investments. You’ll get more use out of a really nice pair of pants than a DVD collection you’ll watch once. If it takes a little more effort to find clothes that fit perfectly and are appropriate, then so be it—it will be much more rewarding in the end.

This isn’t a call-to-action to rush out and buy skinny jeans or sweater hoodies, but please, do us a favor and step up your clothing game. Le Coq Sportif’s look much better with jeans than do clown shoes.