Let’s be honest, no one you have ever met is as weird as my Freshman year college roommate. This is not debatable. For anyone about to head to college, this is the ultimate nightmare. For anyone who’s been through college, you probably know someone similar. By the end, I’m not sure who you’ll feel worse for—Dave, or me.
I received a letter in the mail in the summer of 2000 informing me I was to reside in Kostka Hall, a dorm on BC’s upper campus. The letter also included contact information for my future roommate—Dave. I called Dave a few days later and it didn’t go as well as planned. Anyone who knows me knows I’m not a big phone-talker, but Dave made me look like Joan Rivers. I learned 4 things on this first phone call: he’s from Boca Raton, loves Metallica, hates sports, and talks like Butthead.
Dave was weird about his video games. He would sit on his bed playing Gameboy for hours on end because The Legend of Zelda had the most intricate storyline of any game he’d played. Dave was weird about his music. He was an extremely talented guitar player but he would rage on you if you came within 5 feet of his instrument. He also almost killed me when I told him the bassist for Metallica had left the band. Dave was weird about social interaction—he even ignored me if I saw him on campus. And he walked on sidewalk edges like balance beams. You might be thinking, “ok, he’s a little quirky, but not that bad.” Right?
Dave was weird about his personal hygiene. I noticed early on that he didn’t shower everyday. Then it turned into once every couple days. After that, once a week. One night in November, Dave attended a MegaDeath concert and returned to the dorm around 10pm. He went to take a shower and didn’t return for another three-and-a half hours. Little did I know, this would be the last time I would see Dave shower for the rest of the school year. Since I noticed that he didn’t shower again until Christmas break, I decided to start a counter when I got back of how many days he could go without showering. As disgusting as he was, Dave became my own personal Truman Show. I rooted for him not to shower in the hopes that he would get to 100 consecutive days. He eventually did—though it was quite anti-climactic. People ask me, “How do you know for sure that he didn’t shower?” Trust me, it was practically written all over him in dirt follicles.
Not showering was a byproduct of what I (and many others) believe was Dave’s underlying problem—he must have had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. You might think, “How could he have OCD and not shower?” I think the communal showers grossed him out so much that he couldn’t bring himself to use them. But as a result, he refused to touch anything. He wouldn’t touch the TV remote because I touched it, so he watched TV by standing in front of it, leaning against the dresser on which the TV was placed, and using his elbow or an empty Coke bottle to change the channel. He wouldn’t touch the keypad lock on our door either, so once again he’d used his elbow, a guitar pick, or a coin (which never made sense to me since money is one of the most germ infested things out there). Because I’m evil, when I saw him coming down the hall I would close the door and then watch through the peep hole as he toiled over how to get it open.
For one reason or another, Dave liked to be naked. Not stark—but down to his boxers, socks, and sandals. He also loved Dominos. So imagine your roommate eating a whole Dominos pizza and downing two 20 oz. bottles of Coke while standing next to the TV in nothing but his boxers and socks. And then belching. When he got toward the end of a piece, he’d lift it above his head and dangle it down into his mouth so as to not eat the piece that his own hand touched.
Dave also didn’t vary his clothing too much. He once wore the same clothes for 13 days straight, including the same boxers (just shy of 2 weeks—another milestone I was hoping he would reach). The featured ensemble, as if I could forget, was an old gray/blue tee shirt and a pair of black wind pants. And of course he would promptly disrobe upon returning. Obviously. Unfortunately, I didn’t even get to witness one of my all-time favorite Dave stories, but here’s my friend, Ryan, to give the play-by-play:
“At that point, we had already established how weird he was; he would walk past us on campus and not even acknowledge that he knew us. Plus, he had stopped showering months ago and smelled awful. Anyway, the winter of our Freshman year was the coldest winter that I had ever experienced at that point of my life—it was absolutely FREEZING outside. Dave and I had a Theology class together and the class had about 40 people in it. Even though it was December, we were still Freshmen and weren’t even close to being comfortable with everyone at this point. I definitely wasn’t comfortable with everyone knowing that I knew this weird kid in our class, but like I said, Dave didn’t even acknowledge any of us on campus, so it wasn’t really a problem. Anyway, class started and no sign of Dave. About 10 minutes into class, the door opens and in comes Dave, wearing only flip flops, shorts and a leather jacket…no shirt underneath. So his bare stomach and chest are in plain view and completely red from the cold. He had this scraggly beard and looked and smelled homeless. The class completely stopped and Dave just stood in the doorway, shivering, and all he could say muster the energy to say was “Boy, its COLD out.” The whole class was so shocked that you couldn’t even laugh. Plus, you could literally smell him the minute he opened the classroom door. I’m just sitting at my desk with my head down, trying to avoid contact with this homeless looking freak. So Dave finally realizes that the class has stopped and is waiting for him to sit down. He slowly walks in, walks down my aisle, stops at my desk, and goes, “Hey Ryan….pretty cold out huh?”, and then sits down in the back of the classroom."
One of my other favorite Dave stories happened in mid-February, and some of you who don’t like sports may give him a pass for this one. Keep in mind that college football ends in December, though our last home football game was in November. I had put on my BC shirt to go watch our basketball team play a 1PM game, and Dave was just waking up. He sees me in the yellow shirt and says, “Is there a football game today or something?” Mid-February. Yup.
Our room smelled literally like a dumpster by the end of the year, and I’m surprised anyone ever came to visit me. I toughed it out for a whole year, despite considering on a weekly basis if I could take it anymore. Had I not had the experience with Dave, though, I wouldn’t have stories to tell, and I wouldn’t have met other friends who I met simply because I had to get away from the guy. But I would defy you to find a weirder person than Dave and if so, I would love to hear the stories. On second thought, I think I’ve endured enough.
Taking the First
Let’s be honest, people overuse the benefits of the First Amendment. Everyone talks about hiding behind the Fifth Amendment, but what about the opposite? People abuse the First Amendment because they think it gives them carte blanche to say whatever they want. But to quote Walter Sobcheck, “This is not ‘Nam, Smokey, there are rules.” There are rules that need to be followed; and when there aren’t rules, there are codes that should be followed.
State lawmakers are proposing a bill that would protect students from being punished for what they say on personal blogs. The case subject is a 16-year old high school student who posted on her blog that her teachers were “douche-bags.” The school disciplined her by prohibiting her to run for student government. Now the lawmakers want to take this case all the way up to the Supreme Court because they believe the student’s First Amendment rights were violated. If you read my blog from a few weeks back, I talked about how the internet is public domain, not private. So if the internet is public domain, what is the difference between what the student did and if she were to go into the school hallway and scream it? Not every student or teacher in school would have heard her scream, but you better believe they would have heard about it. Similarly, maybe not every student or teacher read the blog, but it got around and they heard about it. So what’s the difference? If the student were to yell disparaging remarks in the hallway about her teachers, she would be disciplined. Likewise, she should be disciplined for this. If she is out of school for summer or if she graduates, she can say whatever she pleases. But if she is enrolled in the school and those teachers have authority over her, then she should be punished. That’s why we have rules—to keep some semblance of order. It’s also a respect issue. Would she say those things to the teachers’ faces? Not likely, hence the blog. We have to be able to discipline kids—they don’t make the rules. That they don’t know any better is what makes them kids. When they get old enough they can make their own rules, but until then they need to follow the ones in place.
Joe Torre is exercising his First Amendment right by telling all in his new book, The Yankee Years. Joe can write whatever he wants; that’s his right. But just because it’s a right, doesn’t mean that it is right. Once again, this is a respect issue more than a First Amendment issue. Players and managers alike respect the so-called “sanctity of the clubhouse.” It’s not everyone’s business to know what happens behind those closed doors. How are the players supposed to be themselves if anything they say or do is going to be public knowledge? If that’s the case, can you blame a guy like ARod for putting on a front? Torre says that nothing in his book is new information. Really? So why put out the book? Joe must be either spiteful or greedy. Or both. Books of this nature can be highly entertaining—look at Sparky Lyle’s Bronx Zoo, a book about the players on the 1978 Yankees team. Sparky was shunned by players on future teams he played on because they were afraid of being written about in the sequel. I wouldn’t be surprised if Joe Torre’s current players feel the same way. Granted, Los Angeles isn’t quite the mess that is New York, and the baseball spotlight shines much more heavily in the Bronx, but the principal remains the same. Joe violated the code. But that’s why the unwritten code is in place—to protect the people who abide by it.
I don’t understand why we have such a hard time following the rules anymore. It seems like people, in one form or another, feel that the rules don’t apply them; that they’re above the law. It’s unfortunate that people hide behind the First Amendment and almost use it as a vehicle to circumvent the rules. Every American has the same rights, though clearly not everyone has the same ethics.
State lawmakers are proposing a bill that would protect students from being punished for what they say on personal blogs. The case subject is a 16-year old high school student who posted on her blog that her teachers were “douche-bags.” The school disciplined her by prohibiting her to run for student government. Now the lawmakers want to take this case all the way up to the Supreme Court because they believe the student’s First Amendment rights were violated. If you read my blog from a few weeks back, I talked about how the internet is public domain, not private. So if the internet is public domain, what is the difference between what the student did and if she were to go into the school hallway and scream it? Not every student or teacher in school would have heard her scream, but you better believe they would have heard about it. Similarly, maybe not every student or teacher read the blog, but it got around and they heard about it. So what’s the difference? If the student were to yell disparaging remarks in the hallway about her teachers, she would be disciplined. Likewise, she should be disciplined for this. If she is out of school for summer or if she graduates, she can say whatever she pleases. But if she is enrolled in the school and those teachers have authority over her, then she should be punished. That’s why we have rules—to keep some semblance of order. It’s also a respect issue. Would she say those things to the teachers’ faces? Not likely, hence the blog. We have to be able to discipline kids—they don’t make the rules. That they don’t know any better is what makes them kids. When they get old enough they can make their own rules, but until then they need to follow the ones in place.
Joe Torre is exercising his First Amendment right by telling all in his new book, The Yankee Years. Joe can write whatever he wants; that’s his right. But just because it’s a right, doesn’t mean that it is right. Once again, this is a respect issue more than a First Amendment issue. Players and managers alike respect the so-called “sanctity of the clubhouse.” It’s not everyone’s business to know what happens behind those closed doors. How are the players supposed to be themselves if anything they say or do is going to be public knowledge? If that’s the case, can you blame a guy like ARod for putting on a front? Torre says that nothing in his book is new information. Really? So why put out the book? Joe must be either spiteful or greedy. Or both. Books of this nature can be highly entertaining—look at Sparky Lyle’s Bronx Zoo, a book about the players on the 1978 Yankees team. Sparky was shunned by players on future teams he played on because they were afraid of being written about in the sequel. I wouldn’t be surprised if Joe Torre’s current players feel the same way. Granted, Los Angeles isn’t quite the mess that is New York, and the baseball spotlight shines much more heavily in the Bronx, but the principal remains the same. Joe violated the code. But that’s why the unwritten code is in place—to protect the people who abide by it.
I don’t understand why we have such a hard time following the rules anymore. It seems like people, in one form or another, feel that the rules don’t apply them; that they’re above the law. It’s unfortunate that people hide behind the First Amendment and almost use it as a vehicle to circumvent the rules. Every American has the same rights, though clearly not everyone has the same ethics.
Growing Pains
Let’s be honest, Michael Phelps just wants to rock out. Just like any other 23-year old guy, he wants to party. First he gets the underage DUI back in 2004, now he gets caught smoking marijuana. In between he’s been hanging out at the Hard Rock pool in Vegas, doing cameos at MTV awards shows, and chumming it up with celebrities of all sorts. Now he’s talking about not swimming in the 2012 Olympics. Unfortunately for Michael, it’s not up to him.
Michael Phelps erupted on the big stage in the 2004 Olympics in Athens, winning 6 gold medals and capturing the nation’s attention. As soon as the 2008 Beijing Olympics came into view, we immediately turned our attention to Phelps again, setting the bar incredibly high for him, daring him to break Mark Spitz’s gold medal record. And everyone knew in the back of their minds that he had a pretty good chance of doing so. Michael lived up to, and surpassed, all the hype we created, putting on an absolute show. I remember jumping up and down watching him win some of the most thrilling races I’ve ever seen. I don’t think I’m alone in this either. He was instantly the nation’s hero. The new Golden Boy.
We forgave him after the DUI incident five years ago. He was a dumb kid with a lot of money, doing stuff that dumb kids with a lot of money do. This time, people haven’t been as forgiving. Rightly so. If you are the most decorated athlete in Olympic history and the hero of an entire nation, you can’t get caught smoking weed at a party. Can’t do it. CAN. NOT. DO IT. It’s unacceptable behavior. Use your brain, Michael.
Not every luxury is afforded to everyone. People given the most talent or given the most responsibility are held to a higher standard. Not only are they held to a higher standard, they are made more accessible to people like you and me via the good ole paparazzi. If you are famous, you can’t go around doing whatever you want or saying whatever you want—you forfeited that right when you made the decision to embrace celebrity status. Barack Obama had to give up his blackberry when he got elected. Why? Because the President of the United States is not like you and me. He can’t be LOL’ing and Cya l8r’ing during meetings. Paris Hilton can’t go to Starbucks on Main St, Lebron James can’t get his haircut at Joe’s Barber Shop in Cleveland, and Michael Phelps can’t go to parties with a bunch of random people he doesn’t know. If you are a celebrity, people are out to get you. Reporters want sound bytes, fans want autographs and pictures, and most of all, the general public wants to see you screw up. It sounds cynical, but we do. We want you to screw up because we screw up and that makes you more like us. How often have you told or heard stories where someone has met a celebrity and then they tell you, “Yeah I met him, he’s a real jerk.” Or, “I saw so-and-so at a club, and he was all over some girl.” You’ve probably heard that story at least twice as much as the “I met him and he’s such a nice guy!” story. People want the juice; we don’t want to hear how likeable celebrities are. That makes us hate them even more! It’s just the way it is.
For Phelps it’s a double-whammy because he’s an athlete AND a celebrity. We’ve already addressed why he can’t partake in this type of nonsense from the celebrity side of things. From the athletic side, some people are blessed with talents that 99% of us could not match if we worked every single day of our lives. At that point, it should be pretty clear what you are here on this earth for. Michael Phelps was put on this earth to swim. He was put here to bring joy to millions of people through entertainment and to bring a nation together that can’t agree on anything anymore. When was the last time 2 American’s agreed on anything? “The sky is blue” isn’t even inarguable anymore because some nut will tell you the sky is grey from all the pollution and damage to the environment. For two weeks, we all agreed Michael Phelps represented us on the world stage…and it felt good. Well guess what, Michael? You’re not getting off that easy! You’re not quitting swimming and pulling out of the 2012 Olympics. It’s not up to you. It’s up to us. You need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture—your accomplishments aren’t about you. They’re not for you. They’re for all of us. You’ll have the rest of your life to rock out, trust me. The booze will be there. The women will be there. But as long as you are the best swimmer in the world, you will damn well swim. And you’ll like it!
Phelps needs cut this immature crap out. The only reason talk of not competing in 2012 comes up is because he wants to party and live the life that he sees other 23 year-olds living. If only he realized how good he has it.
Michael Phelps erupted on the big stage in the 2004 Olympics in Athens, winning 6 gold medals and capturing the nation’s attention. As soon as the 2008 Beijing Olympics came into view, we immediately turned our attention to Phelps again, setting the bar incredibly high for him, daring him to break Mark Spitz’s gold medal record. And everyone knew in the back of their minds that he had a pretty good chance of doing so. Michael lived up to, and surpassed, all the hype we created, putting on an absolute show. I remember jumping up and down watching him win some of the most thrilling races I’ve ever seen. I don’t think I’m alone in this either. He was instantly the nation’s hero. The new Golden Boy.
We forgave him after the DUI incident five years ago. He was a dumb kid with a lot of money, doing stuff that dumb kids with a lot of money do. This time, people haven’t been as forgiving. Rightly so. If you are the most decorated athlete in Olympic history and the hero of an entire nation, you can’t get caught smoking weed at a party. Can’t do it. CAN. NOT. DO IT. It’s unacceptable behavior. Use your brain, Michael.
Not every luxury is afforded to everyone. People given the most talent or given the most responsibility are held to a higher standard. Not only are they held to a higher standard, they are made more accessible to people like you and me via the good ole paparazzi. If you are famous, you can’t go around doing whatever you want or saying whatever you want—you forfeited that right when you made the decision to embrace celebrity status. Barack Obama had to give up his blackberry when he got elected. Why? Because the President of the United States is not like you and me. He can’t be LOL’ing and Cya l8r’ing during meetings. Paris Hilton can’t go to Starbucks on Main St, Lebron James can’t get his haircut at Joe’s Barber Shop in Cleveland, and Michael Phelps can’t go to parties with a bunch of random people he doesn’t know. If you are a celebrity, people are out to get you. Reporters want sound bytes, fans want autographs and pictures, and most of all, the general public wants to see you screw up. It sounds cynical, but we do. We want you to screw up because we screw up and that makes you more like us. How often have you told or heard stories where someone has met a celebrity and then they tell you, “Yeah I met him, he’s a real jerk.” Or, “I saw so-and-so at a club, and he was all over some girl.” You’ve probably heard that story at least twice as much as the “I met him and he’s such a nice guy!” story. People want the juice; we don’t want to hear how likeable celebrities are. That makes us hate them even more! It’s just the way it is.
For Phelps it’s a double-whammy because he’s an athlete AND a celebrity. We’ve already addressed why he can’t partake in this type of nonsense from the celebrity side of things. From the athletic side, some people are blessed with talents that 99% of us could not match if we worked every single day of our lives. At that point, it should be pretty clear what you are here on this earth for. Michael Phelps was put on this earth to swim. He was put here to bring joy to millions of people through entertainment and to bring a nation together that can’t agree on anything anymore. When was the last time 2 American’s agreed on anything? “The sky is blue” isn’t even inarguable anymore because some nut will tell you the sky is grey from all the pollution and damage to the environment. For two weeks, we all agreed Michael Phelps represented us on the world stage…and it felt good. Well guess what, Michael? You’re not getting off that easy! You’re not quitting swimming and pulling out of the 2012 Olympics. It’s not up to you. It’s up to us. You need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture—your accomplishments aren’t about you. They’re not for you. They’re for all of us. You’ll have the rest of your life to rock out, trust me. The booze will be there. The women will be there. But as long as you are the best swimmer in the world, you will damn well swim. And you’ll like it!
Phelps needs cut this immature crap out. The only reason talk of not competing in 2012 comes up is because he wants to party and live the life that he sees other 23 year-olds living. If only he realized how good he has it.
Mount Rapmore
Let’s be honest, if hip hop had a Mount Rushmore, it would include busts of Run DMC, Nas, Jay-Z, and Dr Dre. Bill Simmons (ESPN.com’s Sports Guy) attempted to tackle this in a column, but I think he approached it the wrong way. Each of his choices (Dr Dre, Tupac, Russell Simmons, and Rakim) were based on an individual’s merit over the course of a career. The busts of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abe Lincoln, and Teddy Roosevelt were chosen for specific reasons, and I believe each of my choices identifies more clearly with an individual president (By the way, I'm reneging on my initial promise of short and mindless blog entires--this one is a bit lengthy. It's more the exception than the norm though).
George Washington was chosen to be a part of Mount Rushmore because he is widely considered the father of our great nation. I don’t think there is any debate that Run DMC is considered the “father” of hip hop as it exists today. Much has been said/written about the impact of Run DMC on hip hop today, so I don’t need to reproduce all of it because I don’t think anyone would question this. If you want to learn more about Run DMC, there’s a really cool website online called Google. Check it out.
Thomas Jefferson was chosen because he penned the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution and because of his belief in democracy. This boils down to a tough decision between Nas and Tupac, but ultimately of the two, I think Nas is more likely to be considered hip hop’s greatest “scribe.” He is the preemptive story-teller in hip hop, spinning yarn for 15+ years dating back to his first studio album, Illmatic (in my opinion the greatest album ever made). I also think he is the most creative lyricist, using wordplay better than anyone not named Biggie Smalls (from “One Time 4 Your Mind: I try to stay mellow, rock, well acapella rhymes'll/ make me richer than a slipper made Cinderella fella/ Go get your crew, Hobbes, I'm prepared to bomb troops/ Got n*ggaz who's born, I shot my way out my Mom Dukes). Though his sophomore album, It Was Written, followed in the footsteps of his debut, Nas is certainly not without fault. He quickly dropped off in lyrical quality on several ensuing albums, giving in to the lure of commercialism (see: "Hate Me Now" with Diddy and "You Owe Me" with Genuine). Only one album (Nastradamus), though, doesn’t feature a song showcasing his superb lyrical ability. He’s written a song where he takes on the form of a handgun making its way through his neighborhood (“I Gave You Power”), one that brilliantly tells the story of a hit from end to beginning (“Rewind”), and told numerous stories of life in Queens (almost all of Illmatic, “N.Y. State of Mind Part II”, “2nd Childhood”). He's rapped countless songs on social commentary (“One Mic”, “Message to the Feds”, “Be A N***** Too”), battled arguably the best rapper ever in Jay-Z and won (“Ether”), taken shots directly (at Cormega in “Destroy and Rebuild”) and subliminally (at 50 Cent in “Queens Get the Money”), and chronicled the history of the game, its demise, and his plan to avenge its death (“Hip Hop Is Dead”). He was part of two supergroups (The Firm and Group Therapy), invented some of hip hops most copied lines ("From the womb to the tomb" and "I'm out for presidents to represent me"), and everything in between. Tupac may be one of hip hop’s most socially conscious artists, and his love for poetry is heavily laced throughout his work, but I believe you can trace the state of hip hop through Nas’ career. From the street-based rhymes to commercialization to rehabbing and reinventing, Nas has been there every step of the way. I also think, and there is nothing that can be done about this, that there is something to be said about success over a long career. To no fault of his own (or maybe fault of his own), Tupac’s career as a rapper only lasted four years (1992-1996). In the end, I prefer Nas’ body of work over a span of nearly two decades. Footnote: I'd also love to give this bust to The Notorious B.I.G. but opt against it for the same reason that holds for Tupac--too short of a career. Biggie was the voice of the streets--a young kid who started rapping only to escape a life of selling drugs. "Ready to Die" was entirely about just that, and as I said earlier, Big was a master of wordplay. His demo tapes actually display great lyrical creativity but his first studio album gave him the focus he needed to get to the next level. In every argument, Biggie surfaces as a top-5 emcee, and I don't disagree. Who knows where his career would have taken him?
Abraham Lincoln was selected for Mount Rushmore because he is credited with the abolition of slavery—a turning point in our country’s history. If one artist can be credited with changing hip hop at a single moment, it has to be Jay-Z. Jay-Z changed the game in the mid-to-late 90’s when he flipped the script and made it all about money, jewelry, and flashy cars. This necessarily was not a good turning point for hip hop, but can you imagine hip hop music today without someone yapping about how much money he has? The unfortunate part is that Jay-Z is, in my opinion, is the greatest rapper that ever lived, but he’s almost single-handedly responsible for a lot of the garbage that’s out there today. Up until Jay-Z, hip hop could be divided into styles identifiable by region—the east coast had a slower, grittier sound where lyrics reigned supreme (Nas, Rakim, Wu Tang Clan, A Tribe Called Quest (not as slow or gritty but as good lyrically as any)), the west coast was defined by gangster rap and it’s extreme vulgarity and exploitation of women (N.W.A., Tupac, Snoop Dogg), and the south featured a funky sound focused on cruising in candy-painted cars or smoking copious amounts of marijuana (Outkast, UGK). Now, unless they shouted it out in songs, would you ever be able to tell where rappers are from? Every rapper has the most money, the most bling, and the best cars. You would be hard-pressed to list 5 mainstream rappers who don’t rap about at least one of those. So because of the way he transformed the game, for better or worse, I’m giving the third bust to Jay-Z. Footnote: Runner-up for the Lincoln bust is Kanye West. Kanye has also single-handedly changed hip hop through the reintroduction of the soul sound and his willingness to do things no one else would even try. He is probably the most musically gifted artist in hip hop and his ability to crossover to mainstream is unparalleled. But because of others' hesitation to follow his lead and until we can say that he has pointed hip hop in a different direction like Jay-Z did by making it about money, he has to finish second here.
Theodore Roosevelt is part of Mount Rushmore because of how the United States expanded its global presence during his administration. If there’s anyone who I think is responsible for hip hop’s expansion to mainstream, it’s Dr Dre. The Chronic in 1992 brought gangster rap to the suburbs (admittedly, it was the first CD I ever purchased) with funky beats and a fresh sound. “F*ckin’ Wit Dre Day” likely introduced the ‘burbs to “beef” as Dre and Snoop Dogg tore apart former N.W.A. cohort Eazy E. “Gin and Juice,” “Let Me Ride,” and “Nuthin But a G Thang” were just fun songs to listen to, putting the west coast funk sound on display with lyrics about drinking, smoking, and cruising in ’64 Impalas. Beyond The Chronic, Dr Dre is responsible for putting several other big names on the map. The aforementioned Snoop Dogg owes Dre for his break, as does Eminem—one of the most successful and lyrically gifted rappers ever, let alone the most successful white rapper ever. Eminem made it cool for white kids to like rap—and I mean good rap. Take your Beastie Boys argument elsewhere. But Eminem may have never gotten his shot were it not for Dr Dre. And oh yeah, ever heard of that guy 50 Cent? 50’s debut multi-platinum album Get Rich or Die Tryin' was executively produced by Dre. Now as a producer, Dre is respected as one of the most in-demand beat makers in the game, making hits for rappers (Jay-Z, Nas, 50, etc), R&B artists (Mary J Blige, Eve), and even other producers (Timbaland). His influence is felt across the entire industry as a rapper, producer, and mentor for new artists. Few can say they’ve left a fingerprint on hip hop, but Dr Dre is one whose legacy is undeniable. Footnote: It might be a stretch, but you could actually consider Dame Dash for this bust. After all, Dash was the original business mind behind Jay-Z's success and the first to give Kanye a shot at producing for a major label. Without Dash, we may have never known about Jay or Kanye, and that has to count for something, right?
This is entirely up for debate, and if you’ve made it through the entire posting I’d be curious to hear if you agree or disagree. Let’s go in.
George Washington was chosen to be a part of Mount Rushmore because he is widely considered the father of our great nation. I don’t think there is any debate that Run DMC is considered the “father” of hip hop as it exists today. Much has been said/written about the impact of Run DMC on hip hop today, so I don’t need to reproduce all of it because I don’t think anyone would question this. If you want to learn more about Run DMC, there’s a really cool website online called Google. Check it out.
Thomas Jefferson was chosen because he penned the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution and because of his belief in democracy. This boils down to a tough decision between Nas and Tupac, but ultimately of the two, I think Nas is more likely to be considered hip hop’s greatest “scribe.” He is the preemptive story-teller in hip hop, spinning yarn for 15+ years dating back to his first studio album, Illmatic (in my opinion the greatest album ever made). I also think he is the most creative lyricist, using wordplay better than anyone not named Biggie Smalls (from “One Time 4 Your Mind: I try to stay mellow, rock, well acapella rhymes'll/ make me richer than a slipper made Cinderella fella/ Go get your crew, Hobbes, I'm prepared to bomb troops/ Got n*ggaz who's born, I shot my way out my Mom Dukes). Though his sophomore album, It Was Written, followed in the footsteps of his debut, Nas is certainly not without fault. He quickly dropped off in lyrical quality on several ensuing albums, giving in to the lure of commercialism (see: "Hate Me Now" with Diddy and "You Owe Me" with Genuine). Only one album (Nastradamus), though, doesn’t feature a song showcasing his superb lyrical ability. He’s written a song where he takes on the form of a handgun making its way through his neighborhood (“I Gave You Power”), one that brilliantly tells the story of a hit from end to beginning (“Rewind”), and told numerous stories of life in Queens (almost all of Illmatic, “N.Y. State of Mind Part II”, “2nd Childhood”). He's rapped countless songs on social commentary (“One Mic”, “Message to the Feds”, “Be A N***** Too”), battled arguably the best rapper ever in Jay-Z and won (“Ether”), taken shots directly (at Cormega in “Destroy and Rebuild”) and subliminally (at 50 Cent in “Queens Get the Money”), and chronicled the history of the game, its demise, and his plan to avenge its death (“Hip Hop Is Dead”). He was part of two supergroups (The Firm and Group Therapy), invented some of hip hops most copied lines ("From the womb to the tomb" and "I'm out for presidents to represent me"), and everything in between. Tupac may be one of hip hop’s most socially conscious artists, and his love for poetry is heavily laced throughout his work, but I believe you can trace the state of hip hop through Nas’ career. From the street-based rhymes to commercialization to rehabbing and reinventing, Nas has been there every step of the way. I also think, and there is nothing that can be done about this, that there is something to be said about success over a long career. To no fault of his own (or maybe fault of his own), Tupac’s career as a rapper only lasted four years (1992-1996). In the end, I prefer Nas’ body of work over a span of nearly two decades. Footnote: I'd also love to give this bust to The Notorious B.I.G. but opt against it for the same reason that holds for Tupac--too short of a career. Biggie was the voice of the streets--a young kid who started rapping only to escape a life of selling drugs. "Ready to Die" was entirely about just that, and as I said earlier, Big was a master of wordplay. His demo tapes actually display great lyrical creativity but his first studio album gave him the focus he needed to get to the next level. In every argument, Biggie surfaces as a top-5 emcee, and I don't disagree. Who knows where his career would have taken him?
Abraham Lincoln was selected for Mount Rushmore because he is credited with the abolition of slavery—a turning point in our country’s history. If one artist can be credited with changing hip hop at a single moment, it has to be Jay-Z. Jay-Z changed the game in the mid-to-late 90’s when he flipped the script and made it all about money, jewelry, and flashy cars. This necessarily was not a good turning point for hip hop, but can you imagine hip hop music today without someone yapping about how much money he has? The unfortunate part is that Jay-Z is, in my opinion, is the greatest rapper that ever lived, but he’s almost single-handedly responsible for a lot of the garbage that’s out there today. Up until Jay-Z, hip hop could be divided into styles identifiable by region—the east coast had a slower, grittier sound where lyrics reigned supreme (Nas, Rakim, Wu Tang Clan, A Tribe Called Quest (not as slow or gritty but as good lyrically as any)), the west coast was defined by gangster rap and it’s extreme vulgarity and exploitation of women (N.W.A., Tupac, Snoop Dogg), and the south featured a funky sound focused on cruising in candy-painted cars or smoking copious amounts of marijuana (Outkast, UGK). Now, unless they shouted it out in songs, would you ever be able to tell where rappers are from? Every rapper has the most money, the most bling, and the best cars. You would be hard-pressed to list 5 mainstream rappers who don’t rap about at least one of those. So because of the way he transformed the game, for better or worse, I’m giving the third bust to Jay-Z. Footnote: Runner-up for the Lincoln bust is Kanye West. Kanye has also single-handedly changed hip hop through the reintroduction of the soul sound and his willingness to do things no one else would even try. He is probably the most musically gifted artist in hip hop and his ability to crossover to mainstream is unparalleled. But because of others' hesitation to follow his lead and until we can say that he has pointed hip hop in a different direction like Jay-Z did by making it about money, he has to finish second here.
Theodore Roosevelt is part of Mount Rushmore because of how the United States expanded its global presence during his administration. If there’s anyone who I think is responsible for hip hop’s expansion to mainstream, it’s Dr Dre. The Chronic in 1992 brought gangster rap to the suburbs (admittedly, it was the first CD I ever purchased) with funky beats and a fresh sound. “F*ckin’ Wit Dre Day” likely introduced the ‘burbs to “beef” as Dre and Snoop Dogg tore apart former N.W.A. cohort Eazy E. “Gin and Juice,” “Let Me Ride,” and “Nuthin But a G Thang” were just fun songs to listen to, putting the west coast funk sound on display with lyrics about drinking, smoking, and cruising in ’64 Impalas. Beyond The Chronic, Dr Dre is responsible for putting several other big names on the map. The aforementioned Snoop Dogg owes Dre for his break, as does Eminem—one of the most successful and lyrically gifted rappers ever, let alone the most successful white rapper ever. Eminem made it cool for white kids to like rap—and I mean good rap. Take your Beastie Boys argument elsewhere. But Eminem may have never gotten his shot were it not for Dr Dre. And oh yeah, ever heard of that guy 50 Cent? 50’s debut multi-platinum album Get Rich or Die Tryin' was executively produced by Dre. Now as a producer, Dre is respected as one of the most in-demand beat makers in the game, making hits for rappers (Jay-Z, Nas, 50, etc), R&B artists (Mary J Blige, Eve), and even other producers (Timbaland). His influence is felt across the entire industry as a rapper, producer, and mentor for new artists. Few can say they’ve left a fingerprint on hip hop, but Dr Dre is one whose legacy is undeniable. Footnote: It might be a stretch, but you could actually consider Dame Dash for this bust. After all, Dash was the original business mind behind Jay-Z's success and the first to give Kanye a shot at producing for a major label. Without Dash, we may have never known about Jay or Kanye, and that has to count for something, right?
This is entirely up for debate, and if you’ve made it through the entire posting I’d be curious to hear if you agree or disagree. Let’s go in.
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