Let’s be honest, American sports fans need to incorporate singing into live sporting events. I don’t know many people that would dispute the energy level of a regular season English Premiership match and anyone who has attended could vouch for it. At what point do we evolve from the chants of “DE-FENSE!” or “We Are…B C!” (or whatever your school initials are)? Many sporting events have become so routine that fans only chant when the Jumbotron tells them to do so. Let’s expands our horizons, get creative, and incorporate some songs into our sporting experience.
Are we above singing? Is it not manly enough? I think a lot of fans would simply be embarrassed to admit they sing. On first glance it does sound soft and American tough guys likely pride themselves on being differentiated from limey English bahstuds. I’m telling you, though, we are missing out. This is one bandwagon we need to jump on.
The best crowds in sports are at the collegiate level, most notably football and basketball. The passion of college football crowds is second to none because the game provides a sense of youthfulness. The players are kids, after all, and they play for the pride of the school or state. College basketball crowds are more entertaining because the indoor environment allows for more intrusive student sections. The environment is also more conducive to funny/insulting chants because of the proximity of the students to the court and the acoustics of indoor arenas.
If we look east across the Atlantic, we can get some pointers on how to create wildly entertaining songs. Quite a few are inappropriate—perhaps another reason we shy away—but you’d be hard-pressed to tell me you wouldn’t want to taunt your rival team and players like they do over in England. Wayne Rooney, arguably England’s most talented homegrown footballer, catches a lot of grief for being on the pudgy side and for being a scouser (someone from the Liverpool area—their ancestors were known for petty crime and violence). Examples of songs from Rooney’s rival fans:
He’s fat, he’s scouse, he’ll steal your f*cking house, Wayne Rooney!
He’s fat, he’s red, he’ll take your man to bed, Wayne Rooney!
All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small
Things wise and wonderful
Wayne Rooney ate them all!
A chant from rival fans of Arsneal, a London-based football club:
Who put the ball in the Arsenal net?
Who put the ball in the Arsenal net?
Who put the ball in the Arsenal net?
Half of f*cking Europe!
Manchester United fans actually sing this to their own player, Park Ji-Sung:
Park, Park, wherever you may be
You eat dogs in your home country
Could be worse, could be scouse
Eating rats in council house!
To an Irish coach of an opposing team:
One Pat Dolan sitting on the wall
One Pat Dolan sitting on the wall
And if one Pat Dolan should accidentally fall
There’d be no more Dublin, Cork, or Donegal!
And my favorite, to any Manchester-based team (to the theme song of The Addams Family):
Your mother is your sister
Your father is your brother
You like to shag each other
The Scouser Family!
The chants from the student sections at college basketball games are the closest we get in America to chants like the ones listed above. Duke fans hardly leave a stone unturned when digging for dirt on opposing players, and very few topics are off-limits. Unfortunately, when fans start to get really creative and funny, it’s all over SportsCenter and nitwits like Skip Bayless and Michael Wilbon lecture us on the appropriateness of cheering for your team. I find it hard to believe the same country that is so over-sexed, foul-mouthed, and numb to violence is offended when a couple college kids try to get inside a player’s head by razzing him about his mother or girlfriend. But the songs we incorporate don’t have to be vile or foul-mouthed, they can be clean and still fun (to Liverpool’s Peter Crouch who stands 6’9”: He’s big, he’s red, his feet hang off the bed, Peter Crouch!) or even in admiration (to boxer Ricky Hatton, in the tune of “Winter Wonderland”: There’s only one Ricky Hatton, onnnnne Ricky Hatton, walkin along, singin his song, walkin in a Hatton wonderland).
How hard could it be to come up with some songs? Just think of a popular player, a well-known melody, and pick a side. Twenty-thousand people singing a song together brings great camaraderie to the fans and adds another level of team pride. I think the live experience at sports games today is lacking something, and the addition of songs is just what we need to bring the experience to the next level. Let’s put our thinking caps on and get some songs incorporated before I have to hear one more boring old “Let’s Go Eagles” chant.
No comments:
Post a Comment