Fashion Disasters '09

Let's be honest, some fashion trends just don't stick and then end up becoming the poster-child for a time period's fashion mistakes. Each decade has been characterized by a few trends that were "in" at the time but cause an awful lot of head-turning when we look at old photos. Surprisingly, most embarrassing trends of decades past have come back around in recent years. So it begs the question, what trends of today will be the "frosted tips" of 2009?

The Seventies had afros and bellbottoms and the Eighties had neon, wigwams, and the Canadian Tuxedo (denim jacket, denim pants). The Nineties had the aforementioned frosted tips, flannel shirts, and mini skirts, and the early 2000's featured baggy jeans, throwback jerseys, and Capri pants. In the late 90's, the bellbottoms of the 70's came back, and afros go in-and-out of style every so often. Recently, we've seen some of the 80's fasion come back in style. Neon, denim jackets, and even mullets are back in! Of course, "in" is a relative term--none of these are "in" in Middle America. So give it about 5-10 years and the fashion of the early 90's is going to creep back into our lives--just watch.

All this is beside the point. So what are people wearing today that when we look back in 10 years will make us utter that poignant and powerful three-letter acronym--WTF?

1) Skinny Jeans. Why the F would I wear jeans suctioned onto my legs? Is this the single-most impractical invention ever? Aside from the physical existence of pockets, which you couldn't use on skinny jeans anyway, what's the difference between skinny jeans and saran wrapping your entire bottom half when you get dressed? I think this will even be seen as a bit ridiculous for girls, who have looked good for decades before this absurd trend.

2) Scarf...with a tee shirt. Ok...so...see...you wear...huh? Really? I don't even know how to start this line of questioning. Short sleeve shirt--so it must be warm enough. And a scarf...ok...why? Did we suddenly evolve into a species where the body temperature in our necks is far colder than the rest of our bodies? I'm seriously confused here.

3) Graphic button downs. The buttons say "I'm sophisticated" while the graphics say "I'm craaaaaazy!" What's next? The graphic tuxedo?

4) Bug-eye Sunglasses. They go from eye brow to lower cheek bone and sit on the tip of the nose. The perfectly matching item for this accessory is a bright red pair of clown shoes.

5) The Faux-Hawk. If you're not familiar, it's a mohawk without shaving the sides of the head, just grooming around the mohawk. Nothing says "I have no balls" like going for the mohawk half-heartedly. Go big or go home, my friends.

So there you have it. If you are a victim of one of these trends, live it up while you can and then feel free to laugh at yourself in a few years. We've all been there before, and we'll all be there again.