Let's be honest, boxing is superior to Mixed Martial Arts (MMA). Though the "Sweet Science" is deeply rooted in our country's history, MMA has gained tremendous popularity in recent years. It has more of the look of a fad, however, and the reasons for its rise are quite identifiable.
"Pretty Boy" Floyd Mayweather--arguably the pound-for-pound king and greatest boxer of his generation--said that MMA was created by "white fighters" who couldn't box and needed to "start something new." I think PBF took it a bit far by introducing the race card, but his core point is valid. MMA is for anyone who can't really fight. How did kids handle arguments after school? Or guys handling disputes in bar fights? With their fists. Not a kick to the shins, a chokehold, or a leg lock. Boxers are more skilled than MMA fighters, no question. If I wanted to watch two behemoth figures have it out, I'd go watch a couple bears claw each other to death in the woods. MMA fighters are "savages...savages...barely even human" (negative bonus points if you know what movie that quote is from). Just like baseball players are more skilled than football players, boxers are more skilled than MMA fighters. Need proof? Which one of these videos is more impressive, #1, or #2? The sport isn't always about brute strength and speed--technique wins 90% of fights. I shun the idea of athletes crossing over between the two since one is skill-based and the other is straight out of the Roman Colisseum.
So why has MMA taken off in recent years? Two reasons. First, it's a well known fact that boxing is only as successful as the Heavyweight division. I follow boxing and I couldn't even tell you a relevant Heavyweight outside of the Klitchko brothers (Who? Exactly). The division hasn't had a star since Lennox Lewis and an undisputed champion since Evander Holyfield. There's something about the phrase, "Heavyweight Champion of the World" that is incredibly bad-ass...or at least more so than the "Flyweight," "Welterweight," "Bantamweight," or even "Cruiserweight" champion. Probably because if you saw the Heavyweight champ in the airport, you'd think "I better stay out of this guy's way because he could kick my ass just by thinking about it." The Lightweight champ on the other hand--you probably think, "This guy is what? A buck-20? I could take him." Reality is, you couldn't, but the sport is best-served having its largest men as the most recognizable. The second reason for MMA's rise has to be a reflection of today's society. We deal with idiots all day and sometimes we just want to let out our frustration by watching one guy beat the tar out of another with a flying elbow to the neck. We're reverting back to our primitive nature because everything else has become difficult and complicated. We're tired of rules, tired of authority. Beer, sex, and fighting...what could be simpler than that? That's what we crave today because so much else around us sucks.
It's partly boxing's fault for MMA's rise by failing to produce and market noteworthy Heavyweights. Boxing, however, is still superior because of its skillful requirements, and also because the electricity of a Heavyweight title fight in Vegas cannot be matched by any sport. We'll grow out of the MMA fad soon enough and the "Sweet Science" will previal...KO in the 10th.
R.I.P. Arturo Gatti
The Realest
Let's be honest, certain portrayals in cinema, television, and music are more realistic than others. In fact, some are so realistic that you'd swear they were based on true stories. Since Hollywood has a reputation for blowing tales out of proportion to create the best on-screen experience, it's only fair that we recognize those that represent the realest pictures. So without further adieu, I give to you the most realistic movie, television show, and song ever created.
From the characters to the settings to the plot line, Office Space is the most accurate movie portrayal ever made. I first saw Office Space back in high school and it quickly became a favorite. At the time, I thought to myself, "This is funny because it is over-satirizing a day in the life of corporate America." Only did I take my rightful place in a beige cube for several years did I realize that the movie is even funnier because IT IS ALL TRUE. Aside from Peter knocking over his cube walls and gutting fish at his desk, nearly every other part of the movie can be traced back to any corporate office in this country. Frankly, I don't know if this makes me want to laugh or cry...and most times, you have to laugh to keep from crying. In case you don't buy it on first glance that is is the most accurate movie portrayal, let's run down just a few of the resemblances:
Having 8 bosses- At my last job, I had 2, and there were 5 levels between myself and the CFO...not even the boss. I think this is a little less likely for everyone, but a definite if you work in a big company.
The Consultants- Shocker...I've recently been through this as well. Given today's economy, these "consultants" are popping up more frequently. Just remember, whenever you do something, ask yourself, "Is this good for the company?"
Bill Lumberg- We've all had bosses that ask us to work on the weekend, which is especially great when they don't do so themselves.
Milton Waddams- The weird guy that nobody is really sure about. He's the office-punching bag and there's a 50/50 shot you could show up tomorrow and he will have burned down the building. Again, with today's economy, more likely than ever.
If you have any doubt, pop in the movie again and take another look...it's uncanny, really.
South Park's depiction of Al Gore is the most realistic television show I have ever witnessed. If you're not familiar with the episode, Al Gore comes to the small town of South Park to warn children about a growing problem that is seriously going to affect the world. This problem is none other than "Manbearpig," a creature that is half man, half bear, and half pig, and "is out to get you!" In case you can't pick up on the parody, Manbearpig represents Global Warming, and the writers are playing on Al Gore's desperate attempt to get back into the spotlight by preaching about an idea that is perhaps blown out of proportion. I'm not going to lie to you, I haven't seen An Inconvenient Truth, probably because it looked like an inconvenient turd of a movie. Guess what? Sometimes it's hot outside, and sometimes it's cold. It might be warmer more often than it's cold recently, but only because the process is cyclical! A few generations from now, Al Gore VII will probably make a movie about how the polar ice caps are taking over the globe. I also wonder why Al Gore did NOTHING like this when he was the Vice President. I highly recommend that everyone watch this episode--the writing is brilliant and the antics hilarious. I'm super serial. Check it out here.
When it comes to music, Katy Perry's Ur So Gay is the most accurate depiction I've found. Despite the title, this actually has nothing to do with homosexuals and is more a rant on Metrosexual and "Emo" men. Katy laments at what seem to be past boyfriends who turn out to be so narcissistic that they'd rather be gay with themselves than be with a woman. They're obsessed with their own clothes, looks, intellect, and feelings--preferring to "read Hemingway in the rain" than hang out in LA. They wear more makeup than she, squeeze into the ever-popular skinny jeans, and shun meat for a vegan lifestyle. The chorus, "You're so gay and you don't even like boys," is a comical way for her to complain and wish that her exes had just went ahead and liked men rather than put on this facade that they'd even be interested in a woman. I love how pointed her lyrics are in this song and think it's absolutely true in this day and age. My "Frosted Tips of 2009" blog a few weeks back pointed out some ridiculous trends like skinny jeans and faux-hawks that need to go away, and Katy seemingly has some of the same gripes. That means, guys--stop trying to be more high-maintenance than girls! Makeup...dead! Veggie diets...dead!
There you have it--Office Space, South Park's Manbearpig, and Katy Perry's Ur So Gay are some of the most accurate portrayls in media. If you feel like you need a dose of reality, check any one of them out. Be prepared, though, because they're certainly different than your average Hollywood depictions.
From the characters to the settings to the plot line, Office Space is the most accurate movie portrayal ever made. I first saw Office Space back in high school and it quickly became a favorite. At the time, I thought to myself, "This is funny because it is over-satirizing a day in the life of corporate America." Only did I take my rightful place in a beige cube for several years did I realize that the movie is even funnier because IT IS ALL TRUE. Aside from Peter knocking over his cube walls and gutting fish at his desk, nearly every other part of the movie can be traced back to any corporate office in this country. Frankly, I don't know if this makes me want to laugh or cry...and most times, you have to laugh to keep from crying. In case you don't buy it on first glance that is is the most accurate movie portrayal, let's run down just a few of the resemblances:
Having 8 bosses- At my last job, I had 2, and there were 5 levels between myself and the CFO...not even the boss. I think this is a little less likely for everyone, but a definite if you work in a big company.
The Consultants- Shocker...I've recently been through this as well. Given today's economy, these "consultants" are popping up more frequently. Just remember, whenever you do something, ask yourself, "Is this good for the company?"
Bill Lumberg- We've all had bosses that ask us to work on the weekend, which is especially great when they don't do so themselves.
Milton Waddams- The weird guy that nobody is really sure about. He's the office-punching bag and there's a 50/50 shot you could show up tomorrow and he will have burned down the building. Again, with today's economy, more likely than ever.
If you have any doubt, pop in the movie again and take another look...it's uncanny, really.
South Park's depiction of Al Gore is the most realistic television show I have ever witnessed. If you're not familiar with the episode, Al Gore comes to the small town of South Park to warn children about a growing problem that is seriously going to affect the world. This problem is none other than "Manbearpig," a creature that is half man, half bear, and half pig, and "is out to get you!" In case you can't pick up on the parody, Manbearpig represents Global Warming, and the writers are playing on Al Gore's desperate attempt to get back into the spotlight by preaching about an idea that is perhaps blown out of proportion. I'm not going to lie to you, I haven't seen An Inconvenient Truth, probably because it looked like an inconvenient turd of a movie. Guess what? Sometimes it's hot outside, and sometimes it's cold. It might be warmer more often than it's cold recently, but only because the process is cyclical! A few generations from now, Al Gore VII will probably make a movie about how the polar ice caps are taking over the globe. I also wonder why Al Gore did NOTHING like this when he was the Vice President. I highly recommend that everyone watch this episode--the writing is brilliant and the antics hilarious. I'm super serial. Check it out here.
When it comes to music, Katy Perry's Ur So Gay is the most accurate depiction I've found. Despite the title, this actually has nothing to do with homosexuals and is more a rant on Metrosexual and "Emo" men. Katy laments at what seem to be past boyfriends who turn out to be so narcissistic that they'd rather be gay with themselves than be with a woman. They're obsessed with their own clothes, looks, intellect, and feelings--preferring to "read Hemingway in the rain" than hang out in LA. They wear more makeup than she, squeeze into the ever-popular skinny jeans, and shun meat for a vegan lifestyle. The chorus, "You're so gay and you don't even like boys," is a comical way for her to complain and wish that her exes had just went ahead and liked men rather than put on this facade that they'd even be interested in a woman. I love how pointed her lyrics are in this song and think it's absolutely true in this day and age. My "Frosted Tips of 2009" blog a few weeks back pointed out some ridiculous trends like skinny jeans and faux-hawks that need to go away, and Katy seemingly has some of the same gripes. That means, guys--stop trying to be more high-maintenance than girls! Makeup...dead! Veggie diets...dead!
There you have it--Office Space, South Park's Manbearpig, and Katy Perry's Ur So Gay are some of the most accurate portrayls in media. If you feel like you need a dose of reality, check any one of them out. Be prepared, though, because they're certainly different than your average Hollywood depictions.
Beyond a Probable Doubt
Let's be honest, the justice system needs a shake-up. The system was designed to give everyone the best chance at a fair trial and consequently a fair outcome, but the rules have become so intricate that nifty lawyers continue to find loopholes to exploit. Moreover, idiot politicians are lobbying to extend the privileges of American citizens to foreigners. Have we become so obsessed with the legal process that we've moved further away from the point of the system?
I'm no expert, but the worst possible outcome of any trial and greatest fear of any judge has to be wrongly imprisoning or punishing an innocent person. Allowing a guilty man to walk, though still wrong, doesn't seem to be as great of a concern. In fact, when a guilty man goes free, his lawyer often proclaims it a success story for the US judicial system. The OJ trial is a prime example of the problem. OJ was found not guilty (not "innocent," by the way) because some idiots at the crime scene mishandled evidence, the race card was an easy one to play, and OJ enlisted the services of the most powerful, knowledgeable, and influential lawyers available. Meanwhile, the prosecution trotted out Lionel Hutz to make the state's case. OJ did everything short of killing his wife on camera while wearing his Buffalo Bills jersey and holding his Heisman
Trophy in the other hand. Stevie Wonder could even see him do it! But because his lawyers were able to find flaws in the system, he walked and continues to search for his wife's killer on golf courses and in Vegas hotels. Casey Anthony will be on trial in the next year for the alleged murder of her daughter Caylee. All the evidence exists to put her away for life, but again she enlisted powerful (read: shady) lawyers to find loopholes in her case. It seems unbelievable, but she could very well walk because, once again, of how evidence was handled at the crime scene.
The reason OJ walked and Casey may is because the law states the defendant must be found guilty "beyond a reasonable doubt." Listen, I get this. I also agree that putting away an innocent person is a horrible consequence. But without all the legal BS, can we at least do a sniff test? Come on, we can all say with 95% conviction that OJ and Casey Anthony are guilty. Can't we use statistical probability to impose a lesser sentence? Can't we tell OJ, "We can't prove 100% that you did it because Bozo the Clown tripped over himself with the evidence, but we're pretty damn sure. Why don't you just go away for a year or two. That'll learn ya"? Would anyone be opposed to Casey Anthony going away for even a little while? Let's get some steam behind this idea.
Speaking of flaws in the justice system, what's all this nonsense about giving Miranda rights to foreign terrorists and/or war criminals? Sorry, bruh, you lost those rights when you became a terrorist. I can't even think of one good reason why these people should be afforded the same rights as American citizens, so I won't even try to justify the other side of the argument. This is a no-brainer, so let's nip it in the bud right now--no need to discuss any further.
What do you think? Aren't you even a bit concerned about these people who we're almost certain are guilty walking out without so much as a slap on the wrist? Sure, Andy Dufresne would likely disagree with me, and these people are often guilty in the court of public opinion for the rest of their lives. But the punishment doled out from that court hardly seems substantial enough.
I'm no expert, but the worst possible outcome of any trial and greatest fear of any judge has to be wrongly imprisoning or punishing an innocent person. Allowing a guilty man to walk, though still wrong, doesn't seem to be as great of a concern. In fact, when a guilty man goes free, his lawyer often proclaims it a success story for the US judicial system. The OJ trial is a prime example of the problem. OJ was found not guilty (not "innocent," by the way) because some idiots at the crime scene mishandled evidence, the race card was an easy one to play, and OJ enlisted the services of the most powerful, knowledgeable, and influential lawyers available. Meanwhile, the prosecution trotted out Lionel Hutz to make the state's case. OJ did everything short of killing his wife on camera while wearing his Buffalo Bills jersey and holding his Heisman
Trophy in the other hand. Stevie Wonder could even see him do it! But because his lawyers were able to find flaws in the system, he walked and continues to search for his wife's killer on golf courses and in Vegas hotels. Casey Anthony will be on trial in the next year for the alleged murder of her daughter Caylee. All the evidence exists to put her away for life, but again she enlisted powerful (read: shady) lawyers to find loopholes in her case. It seems unbelievable, but she could very well walk because, once again, of how evidence was handled at the crime scene.
The reason OJ walked and Casey may is because the law states the defendant must be found guilty "beyond a reasonable doubt." Listen, I get this. I also agree that putting away an innocent person is a horrible consequence. But without all the legal BS, can we at least do a sniff test? Come on, we can all say with 95% conviction that OJ and Casey Anthony are guilty. Can't we use statistical probability to impose a lesser sentence? Can't we tell OJ, "We can't prove 100% that you did it because Bozo the Clown tripped over himself with the evidence, but we're pretty damn sure. Why don't you just go away for a year or two. That'll learn ya"? Would anyone be opposed to Casey Anthony going away for even a little while? Let's get some steam behind this idea.
Speaking of flaws in the justice system, what's all this nonsense about giving Miranda rights to foreign terrorists and/or war criminals? Sorry, bruh, you lost those rights when you became a terrorist. I can't even think of one good reason why these people should be afforded the same rights as American citizens, so I won't even try to justify the other side of the argument. This is a no-brainer, so let's nip it in the bud right now--no need to discuss any further.
What do you think? Aren't you even a bit concerned about these people who we're almost certain are guilty walking out without so much as a slap on the wrist? Sure, Andy Dufresne would likely disagree with me, and these people are often guilty in the court of public opinion for the rest of their lives. But the punishment doled out from that court hardly seems substantial enough.
Diddy Boppin
Let's be honest, we never fully appreciate people while they are alive. Last week I paid my regards to pitchman Billy Mays, and now it's my turn to salute a true living legend. He's one of the world's greatest entertainers, influencing the worlds of music, movies, theater, and fashion. I'm talking of course about the one and only Sean "P. Diddy" Combs.
Ok, the lead paragraph is what we in the biz call a "hook," and it's obviously a bit tongue-in-cheek. Since the theme of this blog is honesty, I'll be honest myself here. I used to despise Diddy. Interestingly enough, though, he hasn't changed over the years. He's always been the same Diddy--the things I despised about him before are the same things I love about him now. He's arrogant, flashy, and talentless, but at the end of the day he is entertaining. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times--in any form of entertainment, you have to be really good or really bad. You have to either be Einstein-funny or dumb as rocks. In hip-hop, I like Lupe and Common because of their intelligence and Cam'ron because he's in essence a joke-rapper. In movies, I go back-and-forth between Memento and Dumb and Dumber atop my all-time favorite movie list. Diddy is absolutely ridiculous, but if you stop taking him seriously then his entertainment level rises infinitely.
If we travel back in time to old-Diddy, we can see he really has always been the same. Throughout the 90's, Diddy was fortunate enough to manage potentially the greatest rapper that ever lived in The Notorious BIG. So here you have a phenomenal rapper in the midst of recording epic songs played even still today, and his clown of a manager feels the need to hop on the tracks. Witness Diddy's adlib contribution to Biggie's "Big Poppa" (arguably his most popular track ever):
Ok, the lead paragraph is what we in the biz call a "hook," and it's obviously a bit tongue-in-cheek. Since the theme of this blog is honesty, I'll be honest myself here. I used to despise Diddy. Interestingly enough, though, he hasn't changed over the years. He's always been the same Diddy--the things I despised about him before are the same things I love about him now. He's arrogant, flashy, and talentless, but at the end of the day he is entertaining. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times--in any form of entertainment, you have to be really good or really bad. You have to either be Einstein-funny or dumb as rocks. In hip-hop, I like Lupe and Common because of their intelligence and Cam'ron because he's in essence a joke-rapper. In movies, I go back-and-forth between Memento and Dumb and Dumber atop my all-time favorite movie list. Diddy is absolutely ridiculous, but if you stop taking him seriously then his entertainment level rises infinitely.
If we travel back in time to old-Diddy, we can see he really has always been the same. Throughout the 90's, Diddy was fortunate enough to manage potentially the greatest rapper that ever lived in The Notorious BIG. So here you have a phenomenal rapper in the midst of recording epic songs played even still today, and his clown of a manager feels the need to hop on the tracks. Witness Diddy's adlib contribution to Biggie's "Big Poppa" (arguably his most popular track ever):
Tell your friends, to get with my friends, and we can be friends
Sh*t we can do this every weekend. Is that alright wit' you? Yeah, keep banging.
Further proof of Diddy's adlib prowess, on Biggie's "Long Kiss Goodnight":
Sh*t we can do this every weekend. Is that alright wit' you? Yeah, keep banging.
Further proof of Diddy's adlib prowess, on Biggie's "Long Kiss Goodnight":
See the f*cked up thing is that I love you. It's just in my nature to love you.
I can't hate you cuz it's not in my nature to hate you.
I can't hate you cuz it's not in my nature to hate you.
Diddy seemed to save his best for the music videos, too. Looking back at these classic videos, why didn't we all pick it up sooner that this guy was a joke?
Fast forward 10 years and Diddy continues to top himself on a weekly basis. He's even taken advantage of the Twitter craze, posting various updates in his PTwittyTV series. Some of my favorite PTwittyTV episodes:
All in all, you have to love Diddy. Because of his affiliation with Biggie, we cut him slack and let him hang around in the highest of hip hop circles. Since we've grown a little further from the situation, we all now realize what Diddy is about--absurdity. He's just here to make us laugh and make us move--nothing more, nothing less. Once you properly file him away into his place in the entertainment world, you can more fully appreciate what he brings to the table. Now do that Diddy Bop!
- "Mo Money Mo Problems" (look at the outfits! Just watch Diddy the whole time. You'll have a new appreciation)
- "Missing You" (gotta love the motorcycle wipeout in the intro)
- "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down" (again with the dance moves)
Fast forward 10 years and Diddy continues to top himself on a weekly basis. He's even taken advantage of the Twitter craze, posting various updates in his PTwittyTV series. Some of my favorite PTwittyTV episodes:
- Epsiode #20- Swagga Like Puff (should undoubedtly win a Grammy, Moonman, ASCAP, Emmy, Tony, and every other possible award. If you don't find this funny then you are a certified square)
- Episode #24- Live From the 305! (I'm going to replicate this video in my neighborhood one day)
- Episode #27- Recent Breakout of B*tchassness (the Maybach ain't hurtin the situation, neither)
All in all, you have to love Diddy. Because of his affiliation with Biggie, we cut him slack and let him hang around in the highest of hip hop circles. Since we've grown a little further from the situation, we all now realize what Diddy is about--absurdity. He's just here to make us laugh and make us move--nothing more, nothing less. Once you properly file him away into his place in the entertainment world, you can more fully appreciate what he brings to the table. Now do that Diddy Bop!
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