Relationships 102

Let's be honest, 90% of guys don't deserve the girls they get. I can attest first-hand since everyone in my group of friends from childhood, college, and work is dating or married to someone out of his league. We're a bunch of irreverent, beer-drinking, fantasy sports-obsessed, gambling-addicted degenerates; and yet we all find girls that not only put up with us, but love us. I don't think I'm the only person, either, that has uttered the phrase, "She ended up with that guy??" more than once. Why does this happen more often than not? Well we all know the boy-meets-girl part of the story, so let's call this Relationships 102.

Part of the story is familiar--girls love guys with a sense of humor and guys that make them laugh. Blah blah blah it's a feel good story and it's true, but there's more than that. In reality, all the not-so-endearing qualities I used to describe guys in the first paragraph are the main reasons why guys often end up catching a girl out of their league. Don't believe it? Of course every theory has its exceptions, but think about the guys in college that were just there to have fun. Maybe they went to a club once in a while, but they were simpletons bordering on neanderthals a majority of the time. Now think about the metrosexuals who went clubbing several nights per week, loaded up on Ed Hardy and hair gel, and only drank vodka cranberry cocktails because beer was bad for the abs. If you were to go out downtown in most cities, which grown-up version of the 2 college guys would you more often see? Now unless they're leaving their wives at home, these guys are late 20's/early 30's, still single, and still preying on single girls. And let the record show the success of relationships started in bars.

Ok, what does this all mean? Simple. If an average guy meets an attractive female, he puts the death grip on her and won't let go...metaphorically, of course. He starts dressing nicer, maybe shaves every day, turns on the charm, and tries to be polite. When an attractive guy meets an attractive girl, he orders more shots so she'll forget about him the next day. Most average guys can't think beyond what they're having for lunch that day, so they don't usually hold out and think, "This girl isn't exactly what I've been looking for, so I need to move on." They find a pretty girl and hang onto her, because shit--they might not get another chance. This directly contradicts girls who are infamous for planning out their lives at age 5 and seeking out a guy matching Ken's description. Once they realize Ken really wants Midge, Christie, and Barbie's mom all at the same time, they temper their expectations and seek comfort in another. In walks Joe Average who's willing to treat these attractive girls like princesses, and voila.

I wouldn't go as far as to say that perhaps the same not-so-endearing qualities are part of the reason for the over 50% divorce rate in the US today, but it makes sense logically. Women settle for the guys that make them laugh and treat them well, but guys cannot be inherently changed and problems arise once both ease back into their comfort zones. The novelty wears off and the neanderthal reappears, prompting women to rethink what they've gotten themselves into. I'm not completely sold on this theory, but it does make a bit of sense.

I'm no longer surprised by the caliber of guys that women end up with, though ironically I am continuously surprised by the caliber of women that guys end up with. I guess it just goes to show that guys have it easy after all. Sorry ladies.