2nd Thoughts

I’ll be honest, I’ve had fun over the last 54 weeks. I’m taking a short break and possibly returning with a new format and/or medium, but a lot has changed in the last year. I’d like to close this short chapter with my 2nd Thoughts on each of the topics I covered this past year, given what we all know now. I figure no one actually works during the week between Christmas and New Year’s, so here’s my gift to you if you need to kill some time. Enjoy, thank you for reading over the past year, and I’ll be back soon.

Vol 1- It’s Britney, Bitch
Unfortunately, Miley Cyrus is heading right down the Britney path. Their careers aren’t that far off…mega stars at 16, protected/abused by their fathers, underage sex symbols, terrible singers, desire for independence and acceptance…it’s like Miley’s diving head-first into a the shallow end even though she just saw Britney break her neck.

Vol 2- Mating Like Rabbits
The Duggars announced in September that Michelle is having #20. This disgusts me. I’m just surprised Jim Bob wanted to get back in the sack with her.

Vol 3- HS Reunion
I have an idea of who will plan my high school reunion, and if I’m invited, I’d like to go. My sister’s reunion (same high school) was at a local bar with a reputation of allowing underage patrons, though, so it might be pretty jammed up. I assume everyone gravitates toward the people they hung out with in high school, and everyone keeps in touch via Facebook anyway, thus negating the purpose of a reunion…but what the hey.

Vol 4- What Not to Wear
I know I’m going to horrible when it comes to my children’s clothing choices. I realize I will be the stereotypical dad that imposes strict regulation on hair length, hair cuts, tattoos, piercings, etc…and that’s okay with me. I’d rather have a well-dressed child than an ass-hat wearing skinny jeans and a mullet.

Vol 5- Bad Friends
FYI, this was not about any of my friends. I’ve seen enough people burned by crappy friends, though, enough so to make this commentary. I just hate when people break plans…drives me insane.

Vol 6- Obama Nation
The love affair with the Prez is disgusting. For a guy that’s bankrupting our country for the next 1,000 years, he certainly gets a lot of love. He’s essentially a crook with a silver tongue. But because US citizens are primarily uneducated and unaware, we sit idly by while Obama brings down the ship. Then again, his approval rating continues to drop so perhaps the country is getting smarter?

Vol 7- OMG, Facebook Me!
I’ve heard of quite a bit of people who have deleted their Facebook accounts for exactly this reason—they didn’t want information or pictures posted in the public domain that would hurt their employment prospective. I don’t blame them, and I wish more people were as responsible or even cared as much.

Vol 8- Mount Rapmore
It’s reeeeeeally hard to leave Biggie out of this, but I’m standing by my decision to leave him out for the reasons given. For me, Life After Death was a largely overlooked album outside of the songs that hit the radio and MTV. Listen to “You’re Nobody Til Somebody Kills You”…wow. He just kills songs. Conversely, did I really consider Dame Dash for a bust? The guy is a broke distant memory…it’s sad, actually.

Vol 9- Growing Pains
Michael Phelps seems to have matured and mellowed out a bit since his post-Olympics indulgence. I probably should have cut the guy some slack—he just came off years of diligent training and achieved more than he probably imagined. Can’t fault the guy for wanting to tear through some gazelles.

Vol 10- Taking the First
OK, first I would like to just say: I was wrong. I made these statements about Joe Torre before I read his book, which turned out to be a great book. He didn’t rat out anyone or really blow up anyone’s spot. This is my fault—I read too much of the New York Post.

As for the other part of my commentary, freedom of speech seems like such an easy issue on the surface when in reality it’s quite intricate and socially sensitive. I’m going to go out on a limb and blame liberals for the abuse of the First Amendment since they abuse it when it’s convenient and then cry slander when someone presents a disagreeing opinion. A liberal’s formula for success is to align with any minority and catch anyone that makes a comment resembling offensive content. If a tribe of six-inch warrior man-apes were being discriminated against, Al Sharpton would be first on the scene.

Vol 11- The Curious Case of David M.
Probably my favorite entry of the year and I still can’t believe I actually lived through that. To finish the story, Dave ended up transferring to another school to practice music and a friend of mine said he saw Dave working the register at Virgin Records. Handling money. The dirtiest thing you can put your hands on. I guess he got over the phobia?

Vol 12- Fierce Against Cancer
Cancer continues to claim family members and close friends every year, and it’s shitty every time. I’ll be participating in the Relay for Life again this coming year under the team name “Beat Cancer,” sporting my Boston College Beat Cancer shirt distributed in honor of BC linebacker Mark Herzlich last season.

Vol 13- Tuesdays With Simon
I’ve waited long enough and I’ve given up trying to find a clever way to attack him, so I’m taking this opportunity to blast Adam Lambert. Ok, so I was wrong again: Obama is not the antichrist, Adam Lambert is. I’m pretty sure that hell exists, and I’m fairly certain that Lambert’s performance at the American Music Awards was a preview. He’s a terrible singer, too. There is nothing redeemable about Adam Lambert. I hope anyone that enjoys him is ashamed of him/herself. If I was in a room armed with a gun, 2 bullets, and sat alongside Adam Lambert and Hitler, I would shoot Lambert twice.

I would also like to say that this upcoming season is the beginning of the end for American Idol. Once you start messing with the formula too much, you lose the essence of the show. Ellen will turn out to be not such a wise decision. (I would also like to note that I wrote this follow-up part in the summer of 2009 when the show announced Ellen’s addition. With the recent rumors of Simon’s departure, looks like I was even more right on this one.)

Vol 14- My St Patty’s Day Limerick
A quick stanza for you…

Irish footballers are sure feeling hurt
Once again the saddest fans on the eart’
Lost though they didn’t give up
And jobbed in the World Cup
When Henry sold his soul to Adam Lambert

Vol 15- Seeking Amy
Sex sells, what else can you say?

Vol 16- Sing It Loud, Sing It Proud
I think the basis of this is culture—and Americans don’t have it. Yankees-Red Sox is intense, but it’s hatred between two organizations. Europeans have so much national pride, and even local pride, that it makes their chants much more genuine. They care about their country and town, and when their team loses, it’s a personal insult to both. Since America is full of mutts, we’ll never have this. The World Cup fever will hit the States in the summer of 2010, yet again, and yet again people will think soccer will catch on. It won’t, though, for the same reason hockey and baseball are fading—not enough scoring.

Vol 17- The Easiest Way
I’ve already been asked to download David Archuleta’s and Mandisa’s Christmas albums. So what do American Idol artists do when they can’t sell records? Make Christmas albums! Gets ‘em every time.

Vol 18- The Fuss About Stereotypes
Note the instances at Fort Hood, Detroit, and Denver in the last 4 months. What do all the alleged terrorist suspects have in common? And this is the same thing in common with the alleged 9/11 terrorists, right? I think a little profiling is in line here. On a lighter note, I love stereotypes and cultural insensitivity. They make me laugh, mostly because I don’t take anyone prolific in either very seriously. I laugh when I think about someone getting off a plane in China and yelling “Konichiwa!”

Vol 19- The Difference Between Right and Left
See commentary on Vol 10 and the liberal strategy. Thankfully, the Left got full control of the executive and legislative branch in one of our country’s most critical periods…and both branches are falling flat on their faces. So good luck with that shit.

Vol 20- A Few Of My Favorite Things
A few more to add to the list…all HBO programming (Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiasm, 24/7, Bored to Death), Tim Tebow, White Russians, Le Coq Sportif sneakers, and Kid Cudi.

Vol 21- Tweeting
Twitter was all the rage for a while, but I think it’s slowed down. It’s no longer cool to be on Twitter, since everyone is (except me and I’ve still never been on the site). Facebook is essentially Twitter now, anyway. Which reminds me—why is it that every time I go on Facebook I see the same 10 people’s status updates? And they’re not even people I like. How did I get here? Dammit.

Vol 22- Dog’s Worst Friend
Michael Vick won’t be back in Philly, and if the Eagles bring him back then Isaiah Thomas must be running the team. The PETA backlash hasn’t been as loud as I would have thought, but Vick hasn’t really done anything either. He’ll go to another team and turn their Sundays into a circus, no question.

Vol 23- An Unpleasant Relapse
Despite being one of the worst albums of the year, and despite my knocking of his drug-induced, completely untrue stories, the second verse on “3AM” is one of my top 5 verses of the year. If you just think of the album as a horror movie instead of taking it on face value, you may start to appreciate it a little more.

Vol 24- The Yankee Way
Well, well, well. Looks like the Yankees brass have a clue, after all. Management may be incompetent and scouting might be lacking, but the free agent method of acquiring players actually panned out this year. I am against a salary cap in baseball though, and I don’t even think baseball needs it. This is a conversation for another time, but Darwinism has kicked-in in baseball and replaced the need for a salary cap. Baseball execs got smarter as the Yanks got dumber and richer and thus evened the playing field. And as the Yanks start to discover this elusive concept of OBP 10 years behind the curve, everyone else continues to outsmart them. So for now, I think the state of the game financially is fine.

Vol 25- The Last Great Generation?
Although a proper perspective can’t be gained until much further in the future, it will be interesting to see how we place the Iraqi and Afghan wars in history. Moreover, how will the vets of these wars be treated, and will they be taken care of in their later years? I don’t know if anyone really knows the answer to these questions, but it will be interesting. Sad, but interesting.

Vol 26- Organizational Misbehavior
Got the update from Al since he still knows some of the players for the Maitland Vulture Claws. It hasn’t gotten any better for the players and Al said that more players are about to be cut. No one has heard of any coaches or management being cut still, so the death spiral looks to continue for the foreseeable future. Memo to anyone that still plays there—get out while you can.

Vol 27- Fashion Disasters ‘09
Well, I said early 90’s fashion was going to come back in, although I underestimated the speed at which it would do so. Have you noticed flannel is back in? And when was flannel big? Early 90’s. Maybe I do know what I’m talking about…?

Vol 28- Billy Mays Here!
I understand why Billy’s ads would be pulled, but as a Billy Mays fan, I am all for keeping his commercials on the air. Perhaps it’s tacky or inappropriate to use someone who is deceased for your own profit’s sake, but couldn’t a deal be cut so Billy’s family still gets his share? If he was the best at what he did…and everyone loved him…why take him away from everyone so soon? I’d still buy things that he sold, so what’s the problem?

Vol 29- Diddy Boppin
Hopefully everyone took this a bit tongue in cheek. Diddy is ridiculous, and everyone knows this. Never has someone so mediocre at EVERYTHING earned so much money. But hey, if he’s making money, I guess we can’t really hate on him.

Vol 30- Beyond a Probable Doubt
So Foxy Knoxy is going away for 20 years, and OJ is not guilty? Right.

Vol 31- The Realest
If we role-reverse and take a look at the most NON-realistic depictions, I’ll go with anything by 50 Cent after 2003, 24 for TV (though I still love it), and any one of the Twilight movies. Vampires? Come on.

Vol 32- Science vs. Savage
Lord willing, Floyd Mayweather Jr will fight Manny Pacquiao in the spring of 2010. This will be the highest grossing fight in the history of pay-per-view, and nothing MMA can put forth will ever achieve those numbers. Enough said.

Vol 33- Writers Block
No comment. I was a bit loopy.

Vol 34- Piano Man
I still believe that for the reasons I mentioned, "Piano Man" is the greatest song ever. However, my #2 song goes against every criterion I laid out. For the opposite reason of everything I wrote about, Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” is my runner-up for greatest song. I don’t have any rhyme or reason here, since it’s not relatable nor is it timeless. It’s actually quite dated, and has no practical application. It’s for entertainment purposes only (unless it’s a metaphor for something that I’m missing). But tell me you don’t get fired up when you hear that first part come in…DA DAAAA! DA DA DAAA!

Vol 35- Problems at the Top
It’s not the NFL’s fault, but Chris Henry’s accidental death does not look great for the league. He had a history of problems, despite friends saying he’d turned a corner. There are too many bad apples in the NFL and the commish doesn’t do enough about it. As far as baseball goes, if it’s revealed that Derek Jeter took steroids, the league might as well fold.

Vol 36- Healthscare
Looks like Barry is going to win this one, even though the bills have no merit. No one from across the aisle supports either the House or Senate bill, so it’s being passed strictly on party bias. Since Obama was raised by a single mother in a not-so-affluent area, he’s used to the government providing for every person’s needs (borrowing this theory from an unnamed relative). That’s his view of government. Unfortunately, American’s culturally do NOT like big government. We are largely anti-authority. I’ve spoken to people in Canada and I’ve spoken to people in Norway. These countries have government funded schools and healthcare, but the highest tax rates are anywhere from 50 to 65%!! You realize that’s how these things work, right? You can’t have free shit and nobody to pay for it. Taxes will have to increase, and they’ll increase the most on the upper class. 2 things will happen as a result of this, not necessarily in this order: 1) The wealthy will move their money out of the country and 2) CEO’s will institute higher salaries. If the wealthy are being taxed more, they’ll want to EARN more to counteract the additional tax. And people will continue to freak out that upper management makes so much money. Well it all has to start somewhere, and I’m looking right at the Prez for this one.

Vol 37- Blueprint 3
As I’ve noted—album reviews after 2-3 listens always prove to be premature. This was a good example. The best song on this album is “Already Home,” produced by Kanye West and featuring Kid Cudi. This is actually the best song by any artist in 2009. The second best song on the album is “Empire State of Mind,” featuring Alicia Keys, which turned out to be the 2009 World Series Champion New York Yankees’ theme song. Several months removed from my first listen, I’d probably put this above American Gangster but below Blueprint and Reasonable Doubt.

Vol 38- Business S&M
I haven’t seen as much of Bob and Grace Dance in the past 2 weeks, which means: 1) they’re out of money, 2) they’ve decided people are getting irritated with their CONSTANT advertising, or 3) I haven’t been watching enough television. Definitely #3.

Vol 39- Ultimate Guy Movie
Huge mistake by me leaving Swingers out of this. Complete oversight and I’m embarrassed that I did so. I don’t want to get overhyped, but The Hangover will one day be considered one of the funniest movies ever made. I cringe at the thought of a sequel though…can really only make things worse.

Vol 40- To A People So Helpless
My prediction: Sarah Palin will eventually run as an independent, and she will…gulp…win? Nah. Well, who knows. But an independent will win the presidency in the next 24 years.

Vol 41- A Draft of a Different Color
So I’m rethinking Jamarcus Russell going so high. How does a guy like that suck so bad at what he does?

Vol 42- Mythbusting
I had no idea about the MTV show Jersey Shore when I wrote this, but I still have not watched it to this day. No reason in particular, just haven’t gotten around to it. But I think everyone now knows what a BENNY is if he or she did not know before.

Vol 43- Relationships 102
To any guy in this situation and over the age of 25…LOCK IT UP. It’s not getting any better for you.

Vol 44- Global Lessons
Everyone should go to Ireland at some point. And don’t bother going to China. There’s really nothing there…really…I swear…(see 2nd Thoughts on Vol 47)

Vol 45- What Happened to 50 Cent?
He started sucking, that’s what.

Vol 46- NastraDENmus
Predicting Manny Pacquiao would lose to Miguel Cotto was the Mega Jinx. There was no way Manny was losing that fight but I had to do everything in my power to make sure that he didn’t. The Jets are one game away from missing the playoffs, as predicted, and the Colts are still in line to win the Super Bowl. Taylor Swift has gotten even bigger, and is dominating every award category in which she’s eligible. And just remember, next Black Friday turns it all around. You heard it here first.

Vol 47- Culture Shock
Why do I have to watch Andrea Kramer on Meet the Press make error after error and present misconception after misconception about China? Well, mostly because she’s a certified dink. In a recent NBC poll, 37% of Americans think that China will be the world’s most powerful country by 2020, whereas 36% think the US will. And Obama’s been to China once, and he made sure to talk down to everyone. Real nice job, buddy. Konichiwa!

Vol 48- Hearting Palin
She’s going rogue! I like how she’s been handling herself lately—really playing it cool. Anyone who insults her now actually looks kind of stupid (see Martha Stewart). Watch out for her meteoric rise…

Vol 49- What If?
No one plays the Butterfly Effect game better than Malcolm Gladwell. He uses it in a way that’s not ridiculous, either, but instead as a perfect way of establishing a background story. If you read 1 book in 2010, read one of his 4 (The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, and What The Dog Saw). Or at least visit www.gladwell.com to read some of his old columns from The New Yorker. My favorite is one called “Coolhunters.”

Vol 50- An Era of Sports Greatness
I’m sure that sports fans in the WWII era and in the 1970’s thought they were witnessing the greatest athletes ever, so it’s no wonder I can make the claim that the greatest play in the era in which I’ve lived. Is it even plausible to think that there will be a hoopster better than MJ, a hockey player greater than Gretz, or a golfer better than Tiger, though? Kobe, Lebron, and Sidney Crosby will test MJ and Wayne, but I don’t think any realistic fans will move any of the former ahead of any of the latter. Tiger is just in a different league, the likes of which we’ve never seen. All his shenanigans aside, he is a marvel to watch…which is why I root for him. I like watching greatness…it pleases me.

Vol 51- 808’s & Chronic
808’s & Heartbreak was the best album of 2008, but it falls to the lower half when I rank my top ten albums of the decade. It was extremely influential and gutsy, and sounds different than almost anything else you’ve heard. The lyrics kill me though. A friend of mine (and staunch Kanye advocate) argues that the simplicity of the lyrics are a perfect complement to the intricacy of the beats, but I’m not buying it. It also seems that Kanye tried so hard to make this more of an art piece than a musical album, but he overlooked some things. He could have blended more beats together so they flowed directly into each other, cut out some of the adlibs, and left off the atrocity otherwise known as Pinocchio Story. On a still-evolving list, I have it in the #6-9 range on the albums of the decade, though.

Vol 52- Letters To Santa
Dear Santa,
Free time. Give me that and a quarter and I’ll have 25 cents.
Aight Chill,
Denis