Global Lessons

Let's be honest, this world of ours is a big place and we all do things a little differently. Unfortunately, not enough people have ventured abroad to discover other cultures. Fortunately, the globe is shrinking and worldwide travel is becoming easier for the everyman. Lucky enough to visit Europe and Asia within the last 5 months, I've seen that cultures around the world all have something to offer, and that we would be well-served to learn from each other.

I'm not going to pretend to be a world-traveler--in fact, before this year my international experience consisted of Toronto, Quebec, Montreal, Cancun, Bahamas, and Barbados...and most of it I can't remember save for dancing on top of speakers, watching friends spend $280 on lap dances, and unwillingly choking down Tequila while shotgirls blare whistles in the backdrop. This year, however, my experiences were a bit more cultural as I visited Ireland in May and China in October. I found that the US, Ireland, and China all do some things well and all do some things poorly. Naturally, as the world shrinks, we should be able to institute a form of best practices. So what exactly is it that we can learn from each of the US, Ireland, and China?

First, what can the world learn from Ireland? Even though my global experience is limited, I can say without hesitation that the Irish are the nicest people in the entire world. From the guy walking down the street to the cabdriver to the bartender, the Irish are willing to help, tell a story, and make sure you walk away from your conversation with at least a hint of a smile. It's unlike Barbados where the locals are hospitable because they realize the importance of tourism to the economy--the Irish naturally just have a pleasant demeanor. The Irish also have a culture rich in history and music. I have yet to see or hear of a culture that engrains history with music as much as the Irish, and the songs are not only contagious but fun. The music is really a microcosm for the culture in general--funny, down-to-earth, and truthful. Though we usually think of finding truth in the bottom of a bottle in a negative way, such is not the case with the Irish. The true test of whether an Irishman likes you is if he can share with you a drink and give you a hard time. They kid because they love. On top of being a little more friendly, we should all learn from the Irish to relax a little, stop being so serious, and enjoy life.

Second, what can the world learn from China? The Chinese are the hardest-working people in the world, so much so that they truly put workers around the world to shame. If the world's workers were as diligent as the Chinese, we might have Great Walls in every country. The Chinese don't bicker--they just get things done, plain and simple. This may be a reflection of the country's government, and after my recent experience I started to think that their system is not necessarily a bad one. A one-party system that has control over more than would ever be imaginable in the United States does have its benefits. If the Chinese government has an objective, there's really no getting in the way. A businessman in China said it best: "In China, you could knock down a bridge and rebuild it in 3 years. In the US, you could knock down a bridge and rebuild it in 3 years, but only after 25 years of trying to obtain the permits." The Chinese are efficient, hard working, and honorable...and coupled with the inexpensive nature of the labor it's no wonder companies outsource production there. Unfortunately, China is so misrepresented here in the US and it would take an entire blog to attempt to explain, so I will resist divulging for fear of running wildly off-course. In sum, the world should learn from the Chinese to just shut up, stop complaining over petty issues, and get the job done.

Lastly, what can the world learn from the US? Two things that come to mind after my international experience are the investment in infrastructure and variety of entertainment and food. Ireland is the size of West Virginia, yet it takes 4.5 hours to drive from Waterford in the southeast corner to Killarney in the southwest. China has 1.3 billion people, including 20 million in Shanghai and 13 million in Beijing. 1,400 new cars are added to the 1.4 million cars on the road each day in Beijing, yet no road stretches beyond 3 lanes, and most are 2. Both the Irish and Chinese have severe transportation problems as far as the roads are concerned, and both would see dramatic improvements with the installation of a major highway or two. Perhaps entertainment is our country's downfall, but it wouldn't kill Ireland or China to spruce up their televisioin and food offerings. You don't realize until you leave the US that you really can have whatever you want, whenever you want. In the mood to eat Mexican food and watch Entourage on HBO OnDemand? Done. How about ordering pizza and wings while flipping back and forth between an NFL and MLB game? Done. The options aren't so great in other countries, but maybe that's the reason we are considered the fattest people in the world. At least we'll die happy. So again--roads, entertainment, and food--room for improvement around the globe.

If you haven't, spend some time abroad and learn about other cultures. The worst thing in the world today is to be ignorant and we could all be both more happy and efficient if we learned from each other. Slainte! Gan be! Cheers!

Relationships 102

Let's be honest, 90% of guys don't deserve the girls they get. I can attest first-hand since everyone in my group of friends from childhood, college, and work is dating or married to someone out of his league. We're a bunch of irreverent, beer-drinking, fantasy sports-obsessed, gambling-addicted degenerates; and yet we all find girls that not only put up with us, but love us. I don't think I'm the only person, either, that has uttered the phrase, "She ended up with that guy??" more than once. Why does this happen more often than not? Well we all know the boy-meets-girl part of the story, so let's call this Relationships 102.

Part of the story is familiar--girls love guys with a sense of humor and guys that make them laugh. Blah blah blah it's a feel good story and it's true, but there's more than that. In reality, all the not-so-endearing qualities I used to describe guys in the first paragraph are the main reasons why guys often end up catching a girl out of their league. Don't believe it? Of course every theory has its exceptions, but think about the guys in college that were just there to have fun. Maybe they went to a club once in a while, but they were simpletons bordering on neanderthals a majority of the time. Now think about the metrosexuals who went clubbing several nights per week, loaded up on Ed Hardy and hair gel, and only drank vodka cranberry cocktails because beer was bad for the abs. If you were to go out downtown in most cities, which grown-up version of the 2 college guys would you more often see? Now unless they're leaving their wives at home, these guys are late 20's/early 30's, still single, and still preying on single girls. And let the record show the success of relationships started in bars.

Ok, what does this all mean? Simple. If an average guy meets an attractive female, he puts the death grip on her and won't let go...metaphorically, of course. He starts dressing nicer, maybe shaves every day, turns on the charm, and tries to be polite. When an attractive guy meets an attractive girl, he orders more shots so she'll forget about him the next day. Most average guys can't think beyond what they're having for lunch that day, so they don't usually hold out and think, "This girl isn't exactly what I've been looking for, so I need to move on." They find a pretty girl and hang onto her, because shit--they might not get another chance. This directly contradicts girls who are infamous for planning out their lives at age 5 and seeking out a guy matching Ken's description. Once they realize Ken really wants Midge, Christie, and Barbie's mom all at the same time, they temper their expectations and seek comfort in another. In walks Joe Average who's willing to treat these attractive girls like princesses, and voila.

I wouldn't go as far as to say that perhaps the same not-so-endearing qualities are part of the reason for the over 50% divorce rate in the US today, but it makes sense logically. Women settle for the guys that make them laugh and treat them well, but guys cannot be inherently changed and problems arise once both ease back into their comfort zones. The novelty wears off and the neanderthal reappears, prompting women to rethink what they've gotten themselves into. I'm not completely sold on this theory, but it does make a bit of sense.

I'm no longer surprised by the caliber of guys that women end up with, though ironically I am continuously surprised by the caliber of women that guys end up with. I guess it just goes to show that guys have it easy after all. Sorry ladies.

Mythbusting

Let's be honest, New Jersey gets a bad rap. Many of the preconceived notions of the Garden State and its residents are valid, but some are not. I've been away from the state for over 4 years now so I have a different perspective than those entrenched in the state their entire lives, and I'm ready to tackle some of the myths. Let's go in.

Myth #1: New Jersey is the "armpit of America." True...and False.
Just like the other 49, the state has its dumps that I wouldn't wish upon anyone...case in point: Elizabeth, Newark, and Camden on the short list. I happened to grow up in a town in Central NJ that I couldn't even come close to afford living in if I tried today. Since most of the state's traffic is in-and-out of northern Jersey, the factories, smoke stacks, and overall trash set the impression for visitors. Unfortunately, most that visit the state never get down to the shore, or even some of the more affluent neighborhoods in New Jersey where shelter-seeking celebs settle down. I'm not going to convince any non-New Jerseyans on this one, so I'm moving on.

Myth #2: Everyone from New Jersey worships Bruce Springsteen. True.
This is a Lady Gaga argument (it can go both ways--get it?) because while Bruce is great, he can kinda be forced upon you which is quite obnoxious. Without sounding sacrilegious, I feel like Bruce fandom is similar to Baptism or Confirmation--it's almost better if you receive it later in life when you can make decisions for yourself. I grew up surrounded by Bruce fanatics among my friends and family, and as any rebellious young'n, I disliked the music simply because everyone else thought it was so great. Not until Bruce's halftime performance at last year's Super Bowl did I realize, "You know what? Everyone might be onto something." I'm not a full-fledged Bruce fan, but I have a "Greatest Hits" album (which I always used to joke was a blank CD) and that's sufficient for me at this point.

Myth #3: New Jersey is comprised of mostly guidos. False.
These guys are not your typical residents, in fact they only come out of the woodwork in the summer. Most aren't even from New Jersey, and we can give a big F-U to Staten Island for breeding these contemptuous creatures that you might mistake for oompa loompas. Not familiar with guidos or BENNY's (Bayonne, Elizabath, Newark, New York)? Listen here to find out everything you need to know. The only thing worse than guidos and BENNY's are the Jersey girls that fawn over them. Which leads me to...

Myth #4: Jersey Girls are...well...Jersey Girls. True.
Ok, they're not all Toddlers & Tiaras alumni, but they all have a little edge. And you know what? They're proud of it. They're proud of being a little independent, a little difficult, maybe a little bitchy. Don't look at me...I married a Florida girl. Some guys want a girl who will stand up to them...think Lorraine Bracco as Karen Hill. But guys--just know what you're getting yourself into. I realize I may not be making many friends with this commentary, but as Jim Cramer says, "Some people want to make friends, I just want to make money."

Myth #5: Residents call the state "New Joi-sey." False.
I've never heard anyone from NJ pronounce it that way--that's a New York thing. Not really sure where that mixup occurred along the way.

Myth #6: The old turnpike/parkway gag. True.
Exit 98 on the Parkway.

Countless other stereotypes exist, but I don't have the time/desire to get into them all. Just like most other states, it's great if you pick the right places to visit. It's affluent and expensive as much as it trashy and fetid, so it's a true mixed bag. Take a visit, spend some time there, and keep an open mind to form your own opinion because the preconceptions may not be all true. Or maybe they are...?